Wednesday, 12 October 2022

Losers team commentary: Japan grand prix 2022

A Japanese F1 fan with a sign saying "Ferrari, hire me as a strategist" with the added caption "Go, パンダポップ"


  • 1st  |  What Verstappened  |  148
  • 2nd  |  Strolling the ranks  |  130
  • 3rd  |  Steady Jordan  |  113
  • =4th  |  Hot Hot Hovercraft  |  67
  • =4th  |  Tardi Minardi  |  67
  • 6th  |  Scrapyard 17  |  61
Read on for the commentary page for the Japanese grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.


Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.

  • In the most perfect moment of the season, the team that scored the most Track Points in Japan areパンダポップ. An actual Japanese name! In Japan! Only problem is, this has highlighted an error we're made. For the last four races, パンダポップ have been picking up Ferrari's scores for their Haas team member. Our mistake. This perfect moment is a sham. At the US grand prix next week, they will receive a (overall, very small) points adjustment.
  • Scoring 41 Track Points apiece are My heart will Grosjean, Scrapyard 17, The Blue Flag Boys and Vladimir Mazepin. Look at you all together sharing your hot tub of hubris. You're the REAL top Track Pointers here.
  • Rounding out these top Track Points scores are Double Daley and It's a Trap Lando on 39. Completely different teams, same result. Nice.
This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Japanese grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.


In the scores for each race, we highlight the Losers teams that scored the least number of Track Points. The following teams rocked up in Japan flaunting their winning ways, with no regards for local customs or the feelings of the Losers League. Totally outrageous. Let's make them play the following automatic team actions.

  • Sainz-Tropez brought in 19 points, which is a big nah from us. They will be made to play a Fast Forecast for Austin.
  • Alpine Fresh scored only 17 Track Points, which isn't even a good number. Stupid 17. An automatic Pitlane Punt awaits.
  • And the worst of the lot are Pierre Ghastly, whose 16 Track Points are a slap in the face for losers and saddos everywhere. How dare they. One of their team members will be automatically Ejected.
Teams featured in this Podium of Shame will have any resulting points losses waived. We will be in touch with more detail on your automatic team actions.


If you Eject team members and at the next race, you earn more Track Points than the previous pre-Ejected race, you get a 5-point Ejector bribe.

Every team that ejected for Japan improved their race-on-race points position, so bonuses for:
Double Daley, Henry's Motors, Scrapyard 17, What Verstappened

There are many kinds of seats. Normal ones, the three-legged ones you milk cows with, Arthur's. The only seat that matters is an Ejector Seat – trigger yours now.


Here are the teams that played Boost Buttons in Japan. We've split them into three streams so you can see who scored an advantage from boosting. Some placed boosts themselves and some were automatically boosted.

Best Boosts: 
Although not in the top ten Track Pointers, Steady Jordan and What Verstappened gained a jump on their rivals

Okay Boosts:
Strolling the ranks, Cruther’s Car Co. and Work Shop Boys didn't bowl a gutterball, but they didn't exactly score a strike either

Bad Boosts: 
Bringing up the rear, and our breakfast, are Camber Gamblers and Pierre Ghastly

We got it slightly wrong in Singapore, so there are some adjustment in some of your scores, blah blah whatever, leave us alone jeez

On November 1st, we will automatically press every unpressed Boost Button in the entire League. Want to get ahead of the game? Push a Boost Button for the next two October races.

    It's 20 points for a perfect Fast Forecast prediction, 5 points if it's close (within two places for the grid and race predictions, or dropping at least one place on the opening lap), and minus-5 for any other guess. We now give a 'bribe' of 5 extra points to any team that makes two perfect or close guesses.
    • Grid Position Forecast  |  Perfect = Albon  |  Close = Stroll, Magnussen, Schumacher, Zhou
    • Opening Lap Forecast  |  Perfect = Sainz, Vettel, Albon, Norris, Zhou  |  Close =  Bottas, Magnussen
    • Race Result Forecast  |  Perfect = Ricciardo   |  Close = Tsunoda, Stroll, Norris, Latifi 
    Perfect scores: Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan x2, Strolling the ranks x2, Tardi Minardi, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened x2
    Close scores: Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi, What Verstappened, Work Shop Boys
    Wrong guesses: everyone else
    5-point bribes: Steady Jordan, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi, What Verstappened

    There's a whole bunch of points adjustments in the scores for Japan due to errors we made in Singapore, mainly Fast Forecasts. Good job there's never any confusion in F1 about points systems. Ahem. They're all listed on the data page. Make a  Fast Forecast for the next race now.

      Success: Top of the Crop Stop Punt  |  Sainz ditched his Ferrari pretty quickly in the race
      Won by: Cockpit Misfits, Hot Hot Hovercraft, Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened

      Failed: Best Laid El-Plans Punt  |  In fact, Alpine had their best race of the season – ouch!
      Lost by: Alfa Daley, Double Daley, Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Strolling the Ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened 

      Failed: Nicholas Nudge Punt  |  Despite starting the race with a penalty from a collision in Singapore, Latifi kept it clean and even finished in the top ten
      Lost by: Henrys Motors, Nikita Putin, Strolling the Ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened, Work Shop Boys

      Failed: Suzuka Bazooka  |  Our special Yuki gamble for Japan didn't pay off – gomen nasai
      Lost by: Camber Gamblers, Cockpit Misfits パンダポップ (auto), Nikita Putin, Vladimir Mazepin

      Failed or ongoing: Schu Shoo Punt  |  The deadline passed for some teams before Singapore, and we forgot to take points
      Lost by: Alfa Daley, Alpine Fresh (auto), Double Daley, Nikita Putin, Vladimir Mazepin
      Newly played by: Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Vladimir Mazepin

      Failed or ongoing: Bernie Earner  |  Despite a court date being set, Bernie has kept his head down
      Lost by: Strolling the ranks, What Verstappened 
      Still being played by: Cockpit Misfits, Work Shop Boys

      Ongoing: Wildlife Wager  |  This punt can no longer be played, but some teams still hope for an animal intervention
      Still being played by: Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened, Work Shop Boys

      We've just launched a new punt in honour of Sebastian Vettel's last race. He won't thank us. Play a Pitlane Punt now.


      Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in Japan.

      Here is the complete Losers team data for Japan.

      And here's how it's affected the standings.

      Access your personal team page here.

      WHAT'S NEXT?

      We're off to the Americas next, with the United States grand prix on 23 October followed by the Mexico grand prix on 30 October. Only four races left for 2022: see the last remnants of the 2022 F1 calendar.

      Fast Forecasts are now easier than ever, with 18 races of data to help inform your predictions. That's the theory, anyway. Make forecasts for the grid, the opening lap, or the race result for the Austin grand prix.

      Have a go at our brand new Seb's Last Stand Pitlane Punt, which is our most potentially lucrative punt of the season. There are other Pitlane Punts available to play too.

      November 1st is fast approaching. This is the day we automatically every unused Boost Button in the entire League. Prepare for chaos! Get ahead of the game by boosting for Austin and Mexico now.