Wednesday 23 November 2022

F1 Losers League champion 2022

2022 CHAMPION VLADIMIR MAZEPIN  PODIUM STROLLING THE RANKS  PODIUM NIKITA PUTIN  WORST DRIVER NICHOLAS LATIFI  WORST CONSTRUCTOR HAAS

Here are the final standings for the 2022 Losers League, following the Abu Dhabi grand prix.

Vladimir Mazepin are the 2022 champions, in the end by quite some margin. Their persistent punting paid off, and they have double delight with their sister team Nikita Putin claiming 3rd place in the championship. Under the name of LockedDownLosers, they claimed only a podium in last year's contest, so this will be vindication.

Strolling the ranks battled brilliantly, and had claimed top spot in the standings. They ended up as season runners-up, with their sister team What Verstappened in 4th. Last year's champions HAASN'T A CHANCE competed as Scrapyard 17 and Work Shop Boys, with the former only able to grab 5th this season.

Tip of the hat to パンダポップ and Team Name, who had led the League earlier in the season but ended things in 7th and 14th respectively. And to Spoiler Alert and Tardi Minardi who had colossal last-minute surges into the top ten - if only the season was longer.

Nicholas Latifi was our losing driver of the year, while Haas claim top losing constructor by one point from Williams. Thank you to all the calamitous cars that gave us so many Track Points in 2022.

Read on for the final Standings.

Losers team commentary: Abu Dhabi grand prix 2022

 

guenther steiner pointing at mick schumacher saying "latifi beat you in the losers league? you're fired"

BIGGEST LOSERS IN ABU DHABI

    1st  |  VroomerDoomer  |  165
    2nd  |  Alpine Fresh  |  152
    3rd  |  Group Team Name  |  148
    4th  |  What Verstappened  |  142
    5th  |  Vladimir Mazepin  |  136
    6th  |  Tardi Minardi  |  127

    This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Abu Dhabi grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.

    Losers team data: Abu Dhabi grand prix 2022

    Here is the complete Losers team data page for the Abu Dhabi grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bribes.

    For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page.

    Carry on reading the data.

    Track points for drivers and constructors: Abu Dhabi grand prix 2022

    Vettel doing donuts in his car with someone saying "youre going the wrong way"

    All good things come to an end. All bad things come to an end too, with the Abu Dhabi marking the finish of the 2022 F1 Losers League. Stop reading this waffle and take a look at the final season standings now.

    The newly sacked Mick Schumacher topped the driver Track Points at the Yas Marina circuit, bringing his terrible tenure to an end. We'd love to meet this Mick Schumacher entourage that Martin Brundle mentioned. Meanwhile, Mercedes topped the constructor Track Points in Abu Dhabi, although without their Beige Flag, those plaudits would have gone to the terrible twosome of Haas and Williams.

    Not sure what to do now. Take up knitting? Go nude snowboarding? Invade a hat museum? Sculpt a lifesize model of Logan Sargeant from earwax and sellotape? Sigh. [twiddles thumbs for three months]

    Read on for all the Track Points in Abu Dhabi.

    Thursday 17 November 2022

    Standings after the Brazil grand prix 2022

    Here the latest standings following the 2022 Brazil grand prix.

    The launch of every unused Boost Button in the League has caused ructions throughout the loserboard. 22 teams have changed position, with Spoiler Alert reaching a season high of 14th place and Mancunian Badboy Racing jumping back into the top ten. That said, the top six remain locked in battle. 

    Pole boy Magnussen is back in the top three worst drivers of the season, while Haas retake their position at the top of the constructor standings.

    Read on for the full Standings.

    Losers team commentary: Brazil grand prix 2022

    verstappen saying "no i won't be giving sergio my track points"

    BIGGEST LOSERS IN BRAZIL

      1st  |  Cruther’s Junior and less well funded team B  |  213
      2nd  |  Spoiler Alert  |  180
      3rd  |  Sainz-Tropez  |  102
      4th  |  Alpine Fresh  |  125
      5th  |  It's a Trap Lando  |  120
      6th  |  Mancunian Badboy Racing  |  117

      This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Brazil grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.

      Losers team data: Brazil grand prix 2022

      Here is the complete Losers team data page for the Brazil grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bribes.

      For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page.

      Carry on reading the data.

      Track points for drivers and constructors: Brazil grand prix 2022

      ricciardo and schumacher crashing, with one of them saying "fancy meeting you here"

      "Can we have a more interesting race next week, please?" we demanded in the report for Mexico. Brazil certainly delivered.

      Thank goodness we don't pay attention to pole position, because the League would have imploded at the sight of Haas's Kevin Magnussen topping qualifying. What was he thinking? Poke us in the eye, why dontcha. Honestly, some people have no respect for losing.

      All came, er, good in the end when Magnussen was taken out at the start of the race, earning him a whole bunch of Track Points. Honestly, we didn't sabotage things. Honest. McLaren earned their biggest points of the season thanks to Ricciardo crashing into Magnussen, and Norris trundling to a stop. And Perez and Verstappen, who love each other very much, scored their first Track Points since July.

      This sprint weekend sees Sprint Drop points going to a warring Fernando Alonso and Esteban Ocon, while our Raceday Special pivots once again, this time giving points to the second race retiree.

      Read on for all the Track Points in Brazil.

      Friday 4 November 2022

      Standings after the Mexico grand prix 2022

      Here the latest standings following the 2022 Mexico grand prix.

      With double Boost Buttons, Vladimir Mazepin and Nikita Putin are on a mission to secure their place at the top of the table. Strolling the ranks must be sweating. Meanwhile, Double Daley are the highest rise on the teams loserboard.

      Daniel Ricciardo tumbles down the driver rankings following his overtaking moves in Mexico, while there's not a lot of change again in the constructors' listings.

      Read on for the full Standings.

      Losers team commentary: Mexico grand prix 2022

      A bored Lando Norris in a Mexican hat, saying "MEXICO, WHAT A THRILLER"

      BIGGEST LOSERS IN MEXICO

        1st  |  Nikita Putin  |  181
        2nd  |  Vladimir Mazepin  |  176
        3rd  |  Strolling the ranks  |  98
        4th|  Double Daley  |  87
        5th  |  What Verstappened  |  85
        =6th  |  Alfa Daley  |  83
        =6th  |  The Blue Flag Boys  |  83

        This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Mexico grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.

        Losers team data: Mexico grand prix 2022

        Here is the complete Losers team data page for the Mexico grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bribes.

        For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page.

        (Note: these scores have been updated extensively following the cancellation of Alonso's post-race penalty.)

        Carry on reading the data.

        Track points for drivers and constructors: Mexico grand prix 2022

          

        A helmeted Fernando Alonso, head drooped in his arms, caption "CAN’T BELIEVE YUKI SCORED MORE TRACK POINTS THAN ME"

        Here is what I dreamt about during the Mexico grand prix. Being chased by bears. Turning up late for a maths exam. Tentacles for fingers. Going the shops without trousers on. Floating above the grand canyon with a little helicopter hat on. Riding a hippo for fun. Falling through the sky. Playing tennis with Peter Andre. Sheep jumping over a fence.

        Yuki Tsunoda topped the driver points after being bashed out of the race on lap 50 by a charging Daniel Ricciardo. Alonso's up there two as his run of bad luck continues. Meanwhile Haas had such a bad weekend, it was like they were reliving their Mazepin days.

        Can we have a more interesting race next week, please? 

        Read on for all the Track Points in Mexico.

        Wednesday 2 November 2022

        The Lax Max Climax Punt

         

        Lax Max Climax: Play this Pitlane Punt

        Max keeps winning. Win, win, win . It's all he ever does.

        But with the championship all tied up, will Max Verstappen get bored of all this winning nonsense?

        Bet that Max Verstappen does NOT win the season's closing race in Abu Dhabi. Read on to play this Punt.