Wednesday, 27 July 2022

Standings after the French grand prix 2022

Here the latest standings following the 2022 French grand prix.

Vladimir Mazepin keep the lead of the League, with their sister team Nikita Putin now joining them in second place. The Russians are ruling the show! Scrapyard 17 and Strolling the ranks reach new heights on our loserboard, and the highest climber is Work Shop Boys.

The biggest climbing driver is Tsunoda, although Latifi remains king of the crumbling castle. not much change in the constructors' rankings, with Haas consolidating their lead.

Read on for the full Standings.

Losers team commentary: French grand prix 2022

Yuki Tsunoda speaking into a microphone while saying "I did it for the Losers League"

BIGGEST LOSERS IN FRANCE

  • Taking 1st place in France is Scrapyard 17 with 190 points. They ticked all the boxes. Two boosts, big Track Points, decent Forecasting and Pitlane Punt reasonableness. Slam flipping dunk.
  • Strolling the ranks had a staggeringly good Track Points result, with two Punt wins and a Boost bringing them to 2nd place and 160 points.
  • In 3rd place with 146 points are Tardi Minardi, helped by an extra Boost Button.
  • Scrapyard 17's sister team Work Shop Boys help themselves to 4th place and 130 points. They Fast Forecasted with flying colours.
  • A good (and Boosted) Track Points score gave The Blue Flag Boys 106 points and 5th place in France.
  • And the final team scoring triple figures are Tardi Minardi's sister team Steady Jordan. 103 points gets them 6th place in this race.
This is the commentary page for the French grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.

Losers team data: French grand prix 2022

Here is the complete Losers team data page for the French grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bribes. 

For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page.

Carry on reading the data.

Track Points for drivers and constructors: French grand prix 2022

 Leclerc's Ferrari in the barriers, long skid marks trailing, with a satnav saying "after 200 yards, turn right"

All eyes were on Leclerc driving his championship hopes into the Paul Ricard barriers. "First retirement!" we whooped. "Biggest loser of the race!" we salivated. But no. Missed by the cameras, Yuki Tsunoda quietly retired his damaged car following an earlier clash with Ocon. That and a beige flag makes Yuki our finest failure in France by some margin.

Haas's trip to France was a stinker. A pitlane start, bad tyre degradation, a poorly timed pit stop, Mick Schumacher hitting Zhou, and a race-ending clash with Latifi for Kevin Magnussen. "We struggled a little bit," said Mick after the race. And then some. The biggest losing constructor of France 2022.

Read on for all the Track Points in France.

Thursday, 21 July 2022

The Oh No Ocon Punt (closed)

Oh No Ocon: play this Pitlane Punt

Esteban Ocon is the lowest scoring driver in the F1 Losers League so far. So let's give him his own Pitlane Punt.

Here's the situation. Esteban hasn't returned any of our letters, despite us writing them in lovely green crayon, and sending them by carrier rat. "Do worse!" we plead. "Slow down!" we beg. The question is: will he listen to us?

Ocon is currently 8th in the FIA world championship standings^. Bet that he will be 9th or lower by the time we get to the summer break.

Read on to play this Punt.

Thursday, 14 July 2022

The Flexi Floor Flutter

Play the Flexi Floor Flutter now

There has been a lot of debate about "flexi floors", a mysterious aerodynamic trick that the FIA wants to crack down on as we go into the summer break. See the video at the bottom of this page.

Mercedes have struggled this year, but they reckon this will "level the playing field". Meanwhile, people are accusing Red Bull of using flexi-floors a bit too much. What will happen once the FIA get involved?

For the first races after the summer break, bet that either (a) Mercedes' race results will drop off or (b) Red Bull's race results will drop off. Read on to play this Punt.

Wednesday, 13 July 2022

Losers team data: Austrian grand prix 2022

Here is the complete Losers team data page for the Austrian grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bribes. 

For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page.

Carry on reading the data.

Standings after the Austrian grand prix 2022

Here the latest standings following the 2022 Austrian grand prix.

パンダポップ (it's Japanese for Panda Pops) leaps up to second place on the loserboard, slightly reducing Vladimir Mazepin's lead. Tardi Minardi are the highest risers, shuffling up seven places, while Strolling the ranks achieve their season best of 7th place. 

As far as the driver rankings go, Seb Vettel moves up three places to 2nd place. Perez also moves up three places, but he's much further down the standings. Williams cut Haas's lead in the constructor's listings to two points. And how on earth have Red Bull moved up to 4th? Yikes.

Read on for the full Standings.

Losers team commentary: Austrian grand prix 2022

The Red Bull Ring bull statue amid a crowd of spectators, aying "‘SCUSE ME MATE, IS THIS THE WAY TO THE TOILETS?"

BIGGEST LOSERS IN AUSTRIA

  • Taking 1st place and top dog in Austria is パンダポップ. However, their 130 points tell a different story. With four Boost Buttons active, they really should have scored a lot more. Instead, they boosted weakly on one of the fewest Track Points of the race.
  • Strolling the ranks put in a good all-round performance. Okay Track Points with decent enough Forecasts and Punts added up to a mighty 2nd place and 95 points.
  • Steady Jordan boosted brilliantly to claim 3rd place and 90 nice points.
  • Scrapyard 17 were another terrible booster, but they still got stuck in and elevated their score to 87 points and 4th position in Austria.
  • A couple of good Punt wins ensured 5th place and 83 points for What Verstappened.
  • And with 76 points and 6h place, Cockpit Misfits bring this rollcall to an end. Note: no sign of any of our top four teams in this list.
This is the commentary page for the Austrian grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.

Track Points for drivers and constructors: Austrian grand prix 2022

Sainz looking down on the ground, saying "I’M SURE I LEFT MY TRACK POINTS HERE SOMEWHERE"

The Austrian grand prix delivered high drama at all ends of the field, not just-- oh hold on, we went over track limits. Let's start again.

With retirements from Perez and Sainz, Austria delivered yet another unpredictable F1 Losers result. Always bad news for our Losers teams. And how about Schumacher finishing in the top ten for a second ti-- sorry, we went over track limits. Let's begin over.

The race in Austria was a high scorer for drivers and constructors. The second highest of the season, in fact. This is mainly because of biggest drop Track Points being shared across five cars, and a whole load of beige flag points for driv-- dammit, over track limits again.

Read on for all the Track Points in Austria.

Wednesday, 6 July 2022

Standings after the British grand prix 2022

Here the latest standings following the 2022 British grand prix.

Vladimir Mazepin remains in first place in the F1 Losers League.  Below them, Cruther's Car Co. rise an impressive nine places on the loserboard, while パンダポップ move up six places, sneaking back into that all-important top five. 

Pierre Gasly and George Russell are the biggest risers in the driver rankings, while Alfa Romeo's double retirement shoots them up four places on the constructors' table. Latifi and Haas remain in solid first places.

Read on for the full Standings.

Losers team commentary: British grand prix 2022

George Russell running off track, saying "just nipping off to get some track points, BRB"

BIGGEST LOSERS IN BRITAIN

  • 1st place in Britain goes to パンダポップ, who pressed four Boost Buttons - and in all fairness, they did alright with Forecasts and Punts too. 193 points to them.
  • What Verstappened pulled off the seemingly impossible feat of perfectly predicting three Fast Forecasts, giving them 2nd place and 114 in Silverstone.
  • Steady Jordan benefitted from George Russell's curtailed race, plus some good Track Pointing. A total of 106 and 3rd place.
  • Vladimir Mazepin won four Pitlane Punts, which is just ridiculous. They chalk up 5th place in Britain, with their 103 points making them the fourth team to get a 100+ score in Britain.
  • Great Track Points, great Boosting. Cruther’s Car Co.'s 97 points gets them 5th place.
  • In 6th position with 92 points at the British grand prix are My heart will Grosjean, whose Gloomy Schumi loss did little to dent a well-timed Boost.
This is the commentary page for the British grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.

Losers team data: British grand prix 2022

Here is the complete Losers team data page for the British grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bribes. 

For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page.

Carry on reading the data.

Track Points for drivers and constructors: British grand prix 2022

Tom Cruise thanking a pitlane mechanic, saying "THANKS FOR EXPLAINING THE RACEDAY SPECIAL, SURE APPRECIATE IT"

The British grand prix was almost immediately red flagged when Alex Albon, George Russell and Zhou Guanyu's races were cut short, the latter skimming upside-down over the tyre barrier. We can only imagine Tom Cruise watching from the VIP area getting ideas for his next blockbuster stunt. The unfortunate trio all share earliest exit Track Points and the accolade of biggest losers in Silverstone.

Our raceday special Track Points pivot every two months. In May and June, the points went to the car with the longest pitstop. For July and August, they're awarded to the car that finishes the most number of places behind a teammate. Step forward, Daniel Ricciardo and McLaren.

For the constructors, Alfa Romeo had a double retirement and score by far their highest Track Points of the season. Zhou had that dramatic off at the start, while Bottas's gearbox let go later in the race. They weren't the highest-scoring constructor, though. Williams take that honour thanks to some beige flag-worthy news we've only just discovered. No loserdom remains hidden here at the F1 Losers League.

Read on for all the Track Points in Britain.