BIGGEST LOSERS IN FRANCE
- Taking 1st place in France is Scrapyard 17 with 190 points. They ticked all the boxes. Two boosts, big Track Points, decent Forecasting and Pitlane Punt reasonableness. Slam flipping dunk.
- Strolling the ranks had a staggeringly good Track Points result, with two Punt wins and a Boost bringing them to 2nd place and 160 points.
- In 3rd place with 146 points are Tardi Minardi, helped by an extra Boost Button.
- Scrapyard 17's sister team Work Shop Boys help themselves to 4th place and 130 points. They Fast Forecasted with flying colours.
- A good (and Boosted) Track Points score gave The Blue Flag Boys 106 points and 5th place in France.
- And the final team scoring triple figures are Tardi Minardi's sister team Steady Jordan. 103 points gets them 6th place in this race.
TOP TRACK POINTS IN FRANCE
Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.
- Strolling the ranks scored 70 Track Points, easily their best result of the season. All of their team members scored at least 10.
- Really pays to have Tsunoda on your team. Spoiler Alert racked up a season-best 64 Track Points and are the highest Track-Pointing team not to have boosted.
- Despite Stroll scoring them zero, Team Name had the best Track Points result since the Australian grand prix. A score of 54 for them.
- Three teams scored 53 Track Points. It's like turning up to a party and two other people are wearing pink crocs. All of them have Tsunoda on their team. They are My heart will Grosjean, Scrapyard 17 and The Blue Flag Boys.
In the scores for each race, we highlight the Losers teams that scored the least number of Track Points. They will all be forced to parade through the streets with a sign around their neck which says "I disrespected the Losers League". And once that's done, they will play the following automatic team actions.
PODIUM OF SHAME
- Sainz-Tropez scored a terrible 21 Track Points and will be made to play a Fast Forecast at the Hungarian grand prix.
- With only 20 Track Points, Alpine Fresh face a compulsory Pitlane Punt.
- パンダポップ and What Verstappened scored the least Track Points. Just 19. Awful. What Verstappened are easily dealt with: they will face a team change with an automatic Ejector Seat. パンダポップ have used all of their Ejector Seats, but we're going to make them eject again anyway. They cannot score 19 Track Points and not be punished. Anti-loserdom shall not prevail, dammit.
EJECTOR SEATS IN FRANCE
- Every team that ejected got the 5-point bribe. A lollipop and a badge saying "special" for Camber Gamblers, Cruther’s Junior and less well funded team B, Hot Hot Hovercraft, Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin.
BOOST BUTTONS IN FRANCE
- Three teams boosted better than any other in France. Strolling the ranks scored more Track Points than any other team since Saudi Arabia, adding 75 to their score. That includes a 5-point brible. Scrapyard 17 added a hefty 106 points thanks to pressing two Boost Buttons, while The Blue Flag Boys scored similar track points and (automatically) single-boosted their way to an extra 53 points.
- Tardi Minardi pressed one Boost Button and had an automatic Boost Button, so double-boosted for an extra 84 points. Sounds good, but it was an average Track Points result. Joining them in mediocrity were Steady Jordan (an extra 39 points) and a newly-boosted Work Shop Boys (an extra 35 points).
- Far behind other boosters were What Verstappened. Doubling a terrible 19 Track Points was a waste of a button.
FAST FORECASTS IN FRANCE
- Work Shop Boys made a perfect prediction for the Grid Position Forecast by choosing Zhou. Close guesses were Latifi, Schumacher, Stroll and Gasly. Tardi Minardi were the only team that were close. Five other teams fluffed up and lost points.
- There were rich pickings for the Opening Lap Forecast. Perfect predictions were Tsunoda, Bottas and Zhou. Close predictions were Perez, Norris and Gasly. Four teams scored a perfect guess: they were Camber Gamblers, Steady Jordan, Tardi Minardi and Work Shop Boys. Scrapyard 17 got close and Cockpit Misfits were fully wrong.
- No-one chose Vettel, the perfect guess for the Race Result Forecast. Still, lots of teams were close by choosing either Albon, Gasly, Stroll or Ricciardo. The close guessers were Camber Gamblers, Cockpit Misfits, Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan, Strolling the ranks, What Verstappened and Work Shop Boys.
- 5-point bribe points went to Camber Gamblers, Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan and Work Shop Boys.
How many times have you won the lottery recently? What? Not at all. You're rubbish. Enter a Fast Forecast prediction instead.
PITLANE PUNTS IN FRANCE
- Ferrari's continuing reliability regrets meant another successful Top of the Crop Stop Punt. more 16-point wins for Henry's Motors, Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened.
- The other main punt success was the Nicholas Nudge Punt, which landed when Latifi clashed with Kevin Magnussen, ruining both of their races. 18 points and schadenfreude to Hot Hot Hovercraft, Nikita Putin, Vladimir Mazepin and Work Shop Boys, with 9 points going to Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened.
- The Gloomy Schumi Punt held in France. Nikita Putin, Steady Jordan and Vladimir Mazepin are playing this over two races and will be hoping for a pay-out in Hungary next week.
- The Seb Schlep Punt didn't work out, so there were minor stake losses for Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened.
- Albon finished ahead of Bottas and ruined the Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt. More losses for Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and Work Shop Boys.
- No-one's played the Flexi Floor Flutter yet, while the Badger Dispatcher Punt, the Oh No Ocon and the Wildlife Wager continue to be going concerns for several teams.
Very quickly, we'll find ourselves at the Hungarian grand prix (see the calendar here) and then in a long summer break. We'll come up with new Punts during the summer break, and start to introduce bribe points.
Meanwhile, the season is disappearing faster than Lord Lucan playing hide and seek. Fix up your ailing team: eject your team members now.