Wednesday 13 July 2022

Losers team commentary: Austrian grand prix 2022

The Red Bull Ring bull statue amid a crowd of spectators, aying "‘SCUSE ME MATE, IS THIS THE WAY TO THE TOILETS?"


  • Taking 1st place and top dog in Austria is パンダポップ. However, their 130 points tell a different story. With four Boost Buttons active, they really should have scored a lot more. Instead, they boosted weakly on one of the fewest Track Points of the race.
  • Strolling the ranks put in a good all-round performance. Okay Track Points with decent enough Forecasts and Punts added up to a mighty 2nd place and 95 points.
  • Steady Jordan boosted brilliantly to claim 3rd place and 90 nice points.
  • Scrapyard 17 were another terrible booster, but they still got stuck in and elevated their score to 87 points and 4th position in Austria.
  • A couple of good Punt wins ensured 5th place and 83 points for What Verstappened.
  • And with 76 points and 6h place, Cockpit Misfits bring this rollcall to an end. Note: no sign of any of our top four teams in this list.
This is the commentary page for the Austrian grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.


Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.

  • Alfa Daley had a fantastic race, with Vettel and AlphaTauri bringing in lashings of lovely points. 52 of them in all.
  • In a distant second are their sister team Double Daley, with AlphaTauri and Latifi leading their charge to 40 Track Points.
  • Cockpit Misfits scooped a decent 38 Track Points, which means their Boost Button was a very wise choice indeed.
  • Almost matching them are Cruther’s Car Co., whose 37 Track Points were, surprisingly, contributed to by Lewis Hamilton.
  • And then there's a whole mush of teams on 35 Track Points. They are Panda Pops, Steady Jordan and Tardi Minardi. Well done, all.
  • .
This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Austrian grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.


In the scores for each race, we highlight the Losers teams that scored the least number of Track Points. We will make them play automatic team actions, and also be forced to listen to every Coldplay album except the two slightly good ones (the one with Yellow on and the one produced by Jon Hopkins).
  • Work Shop Boys are in the bottom three again. Oh noooo! Their paltry 23 Track Points means they'll be facing another automatic Fast Forecast at the next race.
  • With only 21 Track Points, Hot Hot Hovercraft will be made to play an automatic Pitlane Punt.
  • In last place on Track Points, clocking up a feeble 15, are Cruther’s Junior and less well funded team B. For a third time this season, they face the wrath of an automatically generated Ejector Seat change.
Teams featured in this Podium of Shame will have any resulting points losses waived. We will be in touch with more detail on your automatic team actions.


If you Eject team members and at the next race, you earn more Track Points than the previous pre-Ejected race, you get a 5-point Ejector bribe.
  • Almost every team that ejected for this race earned the bribe. They were Alfa Daley, Double Daley, Group Team Name and Mancunian Badboy Racing.
  • The less said about Scrapyard 17 the better. No extra points for them.
Eject. Verb. To throw something out in a rapid way. Example in a sentence: the F1 Losers League ejected a furious Nicholas Latifi from their bathroom. Use an Ejector Seat now.


Here are the teams that played Boost Buttons in Austria, some with more success than others. Let's break it down.
  • Our god-tier Boosters in Austria are Cockpit Misfits, whose 38 points is cherry-topped by a 5-point Boost bribe. Also, the sister teams Steady Jordan and Tardi Minardi who garner an extra 35 points each. The latter is an automatic boost. No, thank YOU.
  • Our plod-tier Boosters, right in the middle of the average zone, are Strolling the ranks, with an extra 30, and What Verstappened, with an extra 29. Again, both sister teams.
  • Our plop-tier Boosters include two multi-boosted teams. This is bad news. パンダポップ had four Boost Buttons, and really threw them away with just 26 Track Points. And Scrapyard 17 wasted a double boost on 27 track points. Also thereabouts are the automatically boosted The Blue Flag Boys (27) and Camber Gamblers (26).
Boost for the next two races now.

    Remember: it's 20 points for a perfect Fast Forecast prediction, 5 points if it's close (within two places for the grid and race predictions, or dropping at least one place on the opening lap), and minus-5 for any other guess. We now give a 'bribe' of 5 extra points to any team that makes two perfect or close guesses.
    • Tsunoda was the perfect choice for the Grid Position Forecast, with close guesses being Vettel, Latifi, Albon and Gasly. No-one got Tsunoda, but we had close predictions from Cockpit Misfits, Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened. Just three teams made totally incorrect guesses.
    • Barely anyone lost places on the first lap, so for the Opening Lap Forecast we just have Perez as a perfect guess and Zhou as a close guess. Understandably, no-one made that perfect guess. The close camp comprises Steady Jordan and Strolling the ranks, with numerous other teams losing 5 points for very incorrect forecasts.
    • Again, no perfect guesses for the Race Result Forecast (Bottas), but quite a few guessed the close drivers (Stroll, Albon, Alonso and Ricciardo). They were Camber Gamblers, Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi, What Verstappened and Work Shop Boys.
    • Six teams achieved our newly upgraded 5-point bribe. They are Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened.

    Have a flutter on a Fast Forecast. Make a prediction for the next race now.

      • A lack of reliability hit the big teams again, with Sergio Perez and Carlos Sainz's retirements landing the Top of the Crop Stop Punt. 16 point wins to Hot Hot Hovercraft, Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened.
      • Things couldn't have gone worse for Sebastian Vettel in qualifying. It's another Seb Schlep Punt success, this time for Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin (20 points each), and Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened (10 points each). Hurrah!
      • Mick Schumacher really doesn't want anyone getting that Gloomy Schumi Punt. His second championship points finish means stake losses for Nikita Putin, Vladimir Mazepin and Work Shop Boys.
      • Despite some damage to his car floor, Nicholas didn't really nudge anything. So the Nicholas Nudge Punt is fudged. This costs Henry's MotorsNikita PutinStrolling the ranksVladimir MazepinWhat Verstappened and Work Shop Boys their stakes.
      • It was all looking so good for the Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt until Latifi retired. Williams? Won't-iams. This punt was lost by Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and, with an automatic punt, Work Shop Boys.
      • Several teams are playing the multi-race punts The Wildlife Wager, which came to nothing in Austria, and the Badger Dispatcher Punt, which at the moment hangs in the balance.
      What would you rather experience? A robot Lorraine Kelly lasering everyone you love to burning smithereens? Or an exciting Pitlane Punt in the F1 Losers League?


      Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in Austria.

      Here is the complete Losers team data for Austria.

      And here's how it's affected the standings.

      Access your personal team page here.

      WHAT'S NEXT?

      The next two races are France on July 24th and Hungary on July 31st, after which it's the summer break. We will start to introduce bribe points for Pitlane Punts after that break, so expect more points and bigger wins.

      We have introduced extra bribe points for Fast Forecasts. Let's see how this goes for the next few races. If you want to get in the Fast Forecast action, go here.

      Six teams are carrying Boost Buttons into the next race in France. Expect a shake-up in the standings.

      Over 80 Ejector Seats have been triggered so far this season, which sounds a lot but is probably not that much. In fact, across the whole League, 75% of Ejector Seats are yet to be used even though it's the best way of scoring more points in the F1 Losers League. Eject your team members now!