Losers team commentary: British grand prix 2022

BIGGEST LOSERS IN BRITAIN

• 1st place in Britain goes to パンダポップ, who pressed four Boost Buttons - and in all fairness, they did alright with Forecasts and Punts too. 193 points to them.
• What Verstappened pulled off the seemingly impossible feat of perfectly predicting three Fast Forecasts, giving them 2nd place and 114 in Silverstone.
• Steady Jordan benefitted from George Russell's curtailed race, plus some good Track Pointing. A total of 106 and 3rd place.
• Vladimir Mazepin won four Pitlane Punts, which is just ridiculous. They chalk up 5th place in Britain, with their 103 points making them the fourth team to get a 100+ score in Britain.
• Great Track Points, great Boosting. Cruther’s Car Co.'s 97 points gets them 5th place.
• In 6th position with 92 points at the British grand prix are My heart will Grosjean, whose Gloomy Schumi loss did little to dent a well-timed Boost.

This is the commentary page for the British grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.

TOP TRACK POINTS IN BRITAIN

Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.

• After a shameful performance in Canada, Your Answer top the British grand prix with 53 Track Points. Williams and Zhou were their biggest scorers.
• Williams and Zhou also earned Panda Pops a great Track Points result, with 47 points.
• It was a similar story for Cruther’s Car Co., My heart will Grosjean and The Blue Flag Boys, who scooped up a super 46 Track Points each. Astonishing for Cruther's since they have, inexplicably, Lewis Hamilton on their team.
• Our two V-teams also did well. 43 Track Points apiece were picked up by Vladimir Mazepin and VroomerDoomer.
  

This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the British grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.

PODIUM OF SHAME

In the scores for each race, we highlight the Losers teams that scored the least number of Track Points. As well as making them play automatic team actions, we also make voodoo dolls out of them using blue-tac, sellotape and ear wax.

• Work Shop Boys find themselves in the podium of shame for the second time this season. Their 11 Track Points gets them an automatic Pitlane Punt of our choosing for Austria.
• Group Team Name and Mancunian Badboy Racing each scored 7 Track Points, placing them last in the British grand prix. They will be forced to make a team change with an Ejector Seat. Especially disappointing for Badboy as they're currently in the top ten League standings.

Teams featured in this Podium of Shame will have any resulting points losses waived. We will be in touch with more detail on your automatic team actions.

EJECTOR SEATS IN BRITAIN

If you Eject team members and at the next race, you earn more Track Points than the previous pre-Ejected race, you get a 5-point Ejector bribe.

• Only one Losers team earned the Ejector bribe by increasing their race-on-race Track Points. That team was パンダポップ. They're happier than a puppy in a bone shop.
• Camber Gamblers, Hot Hot Hovercraft, Nikita Putin and Strolling the ranks also Ejected but didn't earn the bribe. They're more disappointed than a puppy in a catnip shop.

Ejecting your team members is the easiest way to rise up the ranks in the F1 Losers League. Use an Ejector Seat now.

BOOST BUTTONS IN BRITAIN

Here are the teams that played Boost Buttons in Britain, some with more success than others. Let's break it down.

• The best British boosters were My heart will Grosjean and the automatically-boosted Cruther’s Car Co., who each double their 46 Track Points and earn an extra 5-point Boost bribe to boot. Hat doff to the other excellent Boosters, Cockpit Misfits who fortified their 42 Track Points and Steady Jordan who automatically multiplied their 39 Track Points.
• Middle of the road in Silverstone were Henry's Motors, who tuned-up 35 Track Points, and パンダポップ who played four Boost Buttons on an exactly average 31 Track Points.
• Doing a botch job in Britain were the worst boosters of the race: Strolling the ranks on 21 Track Points, Pierre Ghastly on 18, Camber Gamblers on 13 and Work Shop Boys on 11.

Can you do better than this lot? Boost for the next two races now.

FAST FORECASTS IN BRITAIN

Remember: it's 20 points for a perfect Fast Forecast prediction, 5 points if it's close (within two places for the grid and race predictions, or dropping at least one place on the opening lap), and minus-5 for any other guess.

• What Verstappened scored three perfect predictions in Silverstone, which must be a first. They guess the Grid Position for Albon, the Opening Lap for Zhou (Tsunoda, Albon and Russell would also have been perfect picks), and the Race Result for Stroll. An incredible 60 points bolstered by an additional 5-point Forecast bribe.
• パンダポップ and Tardi Minardi each net 20 points. The former got a perfect Opening Lap Forecast and the latter got a perfect Race Result prediction for Zhou.
• Scrapyard 17 perfectly guessed Albon for Grid Position. An incorrect guess skims off a few points, giving them 15 overall.
• Steady Jordan got a perfect guess with Stroll for Race Result, but lose half of those points to incorrect guesses. 10 points. 
• Alpine Fresh net 5 points from an automatic Forecast. 
• Nikita Putin, Panda Pops, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and Work Shop Boys all lose 5 points apiece, with Hot Hot Hovercraft scoring a tepid minus-10.

Starting in Austria, the 5-point Forecast bribe changes. It will be given if you predict two perfect OR close Forecasts in any one race.

Can YOU guess three perfect Fast Forecasts? No, no you can't. Don't even try. Nope. No chance. Make a prediction for the next race now.

PITLANE PUNTS IN BRITAIN

• When George Russell crashed at the start of the race, it looked like he was running off to help Zhou Guanyu. He was actually popping off to collect 18 points each for these winners of the Top of the Crop Stop Punt: パンダポップ, Nikita Putin, Steady Jordan, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and, played automatically, Your Answer.
• We should have seen this one coming. Lewis Hamilton's vegan bulldog Roscoe strutted in style at Silverstone, which means 20-point Wildlife Wager wins for Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened. We realise Roscoe is not a "surprising" animal appearance, but his doggy swagger caught us all off guard.
• The Seb Schlep Punt paid off again, and this time some teams actually bothered to gamble on it. 20 points each to Hot Hot Hovercraft, Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin.
• Most coverage missed it, but it looks like there's social media chatter of Latifi nudging the barriers in qualifying, and indeed he does mention damage caused from an off in Q3. On balance, the Nicholas Nudge Punt lands, which gives 18 points to Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin.
• Latifi just about held off Ricciardo at the end of the race, denying the Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt. Stake losses for Nikita Putin, Tardi Minardi, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened.
• Mick Schumacher scored his first ever F1 points at Silverstone. Hurrah! Bring out the best china and fairy cakes! However, for the 11 Losers teams playing the Gloomy Schumi Punt, this was a disaster. Smash the china! Feed the fairy cakes to Roscoe! Stake losses all round for (deep breath) Alfa Daley, Camber Gamblers, Cockpit Misfits, パンダポップ, My heart will Grosjean, Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and Work Shop Boys, with Mancunian Badboy Racing avoiding a points loss because their punt was automatic. 
• Meanwhile, six teams are still hoping on news on the Badger Dispatcher Punt. The wait continues.
• A final note: We have changed the odds on the Wildlife Wager, the Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt and the Top of the Crop Stop Punt. All three are paying off more than we expected, so expect reduced odds and slightly smaller pay-outs.

Want to look like a bulldog chewing a vegan sausage roll? Then sit on your bum ignoring your Losers team. Alternatively, become top dog by gambling your points on a Pitlane Punt.

MORE POINTS

Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in Britain.

Here is the complete Losers team data for Britain.

And here's how it's affected the standings.

Access your personal team page here.

WHAT'S NEXT?

We go straight into the Austrian grand prix this weekend, where everyone will bang on about Red Bull while guzzling Red Bull. In fact, it's a busy couple of months: see the season calendar.

We have changed the odds on the Wildlife Wager, the Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt and the Top of the Crop Stop Punt. All three are paying off more than we expected, so expect reduced odds and slightly smaller pay-outs. See all playable punts here.

At the moment, you get a 5-point Fast Forecast bribe if you predict two exactly correct Forecasts in a race. Turns out this has been difficult to achieve. So this rule changes from the next race in Austria. From then on, to get that extra 5 points, you just have to predict two correct OR almost-correct Forecasts in any one race. So you could easily get your Forecasts wrong, but as long as you're almost-correct with two of them, you get 5 extra points! Forecasts are still limited to three per race.