Losers Team scores: Netherlands grand prix

Such drama! Such action! So many thrills and spills! No, not the Dutch grand prix, which essentially involved everyone not overtaking home hero Max Verstappen should they be besieged by legions of orange-clad Max fans. We mean the Losers Team scores. Amazing!

A minor prang for Giovinazzi on the opening lap not only cost him aero ability, it also meant a pay-out for the Romeo Oh Romeo Pitlane Punt (bet that an Alfa Romeo car will hit something) and a successful Fast Forecast for the one team that bet he would lose position on the opening lap.

Such a small incident, but with consequences that would define the Losers results in the Netherlands. A bit like Jesus feeding the five thousand, but with Losers Points instead of fish. Come to think of it, we've never seen Jesus and Giovinazzi in the same place at the same time. Iiiinteresting...

Incidentally, there was no Raikkonen in this race. For the Netherlands, and for the next race in Italy, it will be Kubica scoring points for that car instead.

Read on for the Losers Teams scores for the Netherlands grand prix.

BIGGEST LOSERS IN THE NETHERLANDS

Get those orange flares at the ready, or any colour trouser. Here are the highest scoring Losers Teams at the Dutch grand prix.

• HAASN'T A CHANCE hammered Holland, with Pitlane Punt and Fast Forecast success giving them 167 points and first place.
• Cruthers Car Co. came a close second with 164 points, with the brand new Break Assist actually assisting them to their highest score of the season (see Pitlane Punts below).
• Giovinazzi's minor incident helped LockedDownLosers to a Pitlane Punt win, 128 points and third place in the Netherlands.
• The same incident won the same Punt for Murraylivesforeverinourhearts, who scored 82 points, their biggest points of the season. It's like Christmas!
• In fifth place is NEEEOOOOWWWW, whose haul of 70 points was helped by Giovinazzi qualifying well but falling into loserdom.
• Giovinazzi's high Losers points also helped Pierre Ghastly, who scored a solid 62 points and help themselves to sixth place in the Netherlands.
  
  

TEAM ACTIONS IN THE NETHERLANDS

DRS: 

• There were no DRS actions in Belgium. You have one last chance to change your DRS allocation from Russia to Monza, and then the Boost Button system takes over.

Pitlane Punts:

• HAASN'T A CHANCE played the Russell Hustle punt for Belgium and the Netherlands. Russell's late-race fade landed that punt nicely: a welcome 100 points for CHANCE.
• Three teams played the Romeo Oh Romeo punt, which paid off wonderfully when poor Giovinazzi got his front wing clipped on lap one, LockedDownLosers and Murraylivesforeverinourhearts each gain 80 points. Cruthers Car Co. was forced to play this punt because of Break Assist – good job too because they get 120 points.
• LockedDownLosers also tried the Giantkiller punt in the hope that Verstappen would fail in front of his orange fans. The failed punt cost just 10 points.
• Tardi Minardi went for the Geunther's Plucky Sluggards punt, which didn't land and cost them a 30 point stake – and tumbled them into last place (see Podium of Shame).
• League leaders Team Name played the Wildlife Wager a couple of months ago. That punt has now elapsed, and Team Name lose a 30 point stake and any chance of seeing an actual bull wander into the Red Bull garage.
• There are ongoing Pitlane Punts that haven't reached a resolution yet. Team Name is hoping for a second bite of the Russell Hustle at Monza. Murraylivesforeverinourhearts has three more races for an animal to get a news story for the Wildlife Wager.
• HAASN'T A CHANCE, LockedDownLosers, Panda Pops, Pierre Ghastly and VroomDoom all played the Merc Merk. With Bottas's move to Alfa Romeo, this punt has landed – too late for the Netherlands, but there will be points pay-out at Monza.

Fast Forecasts:

• This really was HAASN'T A CHANCE's week. They have a chance! They predicted that Giovinazzi would lose three places on the opening lap of the Dutch grand prix, and Antonio did exactly that. The League's first 25-point Fast Forecast success goes to CHANCE.
• Break Assist forced NEEEOOOOWWWW into playing the Race Result Forecast with Russell, which didn't amount to anything. Nothing lost, nothing gained.

Ejector Seats: 

• Break Assist also forced It’s a trap Lando! into dumping Gasly for Leclerc. No immediate benefit in Holland, but it's early days.
• Incidentally, Mancunian Badboy Racing's Ejector Seat change from last week saw them earn an extra 24 points this week. It's definitely worth using those Ejector Seats.

Take a team action. See your personal team page here, or use the various links above.

PODIUM OF SHAME

Which teams tried to ignite their orange flares, only for it to explode in their faces? Here are the lowest scoring teams in the Netherlands this week. Shame on you all. SHAME ON YOU ALL.

• Alpine scored nothing at the Dutch grand prix, which helped to leave The Tour de France is Better languishing in joint 23rd place, with 29 points
• Alongside them on the same points is Mancunian Badboy Racing who had two zero scores from Perez and Ocon.
• Team Name hobbled to 24th place, that Wildlife disaster flinging them way down the order. 24 points was their second worst result of the season.
• And finally, Tardi Minardi scored just 15 points and 25th place. Blame Haas and that Pitlane Punt failure. You know what happens now, 'hearts, don't you. Read on.

Break Assist: 

Teams with lower race scores live in fear of Break Assist, the new results tool that tries to "help" struggling Losers Teams.

• The random team selected to play a Fast Forecast is Not good on the BENds. They're playing the Penalty Forecast, predicting that Giovinazzi will get a penalty at the Monza grand prix.
• For the assisted Pitlane Punt, the finger of fate falls on The Tour de France is Better. They will play the Geunther's Plucky Sluggards punt in Monza, with a stake of 30 points.
• And for coming a Dutch dead last, Tardi Minardi are made to use of one of their Ejector Seats. The Tardis, as their friends like to call them, will lose Tsunoda from their team, and the replacement will be – yikes – Bottas.

LOSERS TEAM SCORES IN NETHERLANDS

1st	HAASN'T A CHANCE	167
2nd	Cruthers Car Co.	164
3rd	LockedDownLosers	128
4th	Murraylivesforeverinourhearts	82
5th	NEEEOOOOWWWW	70
6th	Pierre Ghastly	62
7th	Haas Beens	58
8th	Gunther's Gonna Get Ya	54
9th	Panda Pops	54
10th	It’s a trap Lando!	53
11th	Lou-sers	52
12th	Fernando Analonso	48
13th	Nikita Mazepimp	48
14th	Thomas's Tractors	48
15th	VroomDoom	45
16th	Steady Jordan	43
17th	Not good on the BENds	39
18th	Back of the shed	35
19th	WereDrivingInReverse	35
20th	Clean Trolls	31
21st	The Pit Lockers	31
22nd	Mancunian Badboy Racing	29
23rd	The Tour de France is Better	29
24th	Team Name	24
25th	Tardi Minardi	15

MORE POINTS

Here are the Race points for the Netherlands.

And here's how it's affected the Standings.

Access your personal team page here.

WHAT'S NEXT?

We go marching to Monza this coming weekend, where we'll see a new points element for worst Sprint result. This weekend, we will also freeze team actions for the DRS system, which will be replaced by Boost Buttons later this month. And then on September 15th, we'll launch a fourth Ejector Seat.