BIGGEST LOSERS IN THE NETHERLANDS
- 1st | Hot Hot Hovercraft | 122
- 2nd | Mancunian Badboy Racing | 117
- 3rd | Steady Jordan | 107
- 4th | Camber Gamblers | 98
- 5th | Nikita Putin | 94
- 6th | What Verstappened | 91
Carry on reading this commentary.
TOP TRACK POINTS IN THE NETHERLANDS
Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.
- Hot Hot Hovercraft top the Track Points in the Netherlands, with Tsunoda and Alfa Romeo contributing to 46 points.
- Tsunoda also played his part for Camber Gamblers and Spoiler Alert, who earned 44 Track Points apiece.
- 42 Track Points go to Strolling the ranks, thanks in part to Haas's disappointing race performance.
- Steady Jordan continue to benefit from Williams' misfortunes. They got 41 Track Points.
- To complete this list of top Track Points scorers, we have Cockpit Misfits and Group Team Name, who each snaffled 40 lovely points.
PODIUM OF SHAME
In the scores for each race, we highlight the Losers teams that scored the least number of Track Points. Remember in Lord of the Rings when Gollum has a conversation with himself? All these teams need to have a word with themselves. Disgusting behaviour. They will be punished with some precious, automatic team actions.
- パンダポップ scored the third lowest Track Points with a score of 22. They will be forced into a Fast Forecast.
- Alpine Fresh and It's a Trap Lando brought in a pretty poor 21 Track Points each. They're second from last, so they both get to play a Pitlane Punt.
- In last place in terms of Track Points is Your Answer. 16 isn't the worst we've seen, but it does mean they'll be made to change their team with an Ejector Seat.
EJECTOR SEATS IN THE NETHERLANDS
- Both teams that ejected at Zandvoort got their bribe. 5 points and a special lollipop to Hot Hot Hovercraft and パンダポップ. The latter was automatically ejected, so we're taking the lollipop back.
BOOST BUTTONS IN THE NETHERLANDS
- To delineate automatically boosted teams with teams that actively decided to boost, when listing the auto teams we will place an unnecessary and confusing pun in their name. See if you can spot them.
- Best Boosts: Hop Hop Hovercraft's automatic boost brought in an incredible 51 points. Scoring well too were Camber Gamblers, Spoiler Yoghurt, Steady Jordan, Cockpit Misfits and Group Team Navel.
- Okay Boosts: Scoring in the 30s were the middling Tardi Minardi, Cruther’s Junior and less well fungible team B, Uganda Pops, What Verstappened, Henry's Motors and Heinz-Tropez. A double boost flattered Mancunian Badboy Racing's second mediocre Track Points result in a row.
- Bad Boosts: Wasting their boost opportunity are ウガンダ ポップ and BoomerGroomer, with the automatically boosted Alpine French and It's a Tram Lando bringing the least number of points with 21.
FAST FORECASTS IN THE NETHERLANDS
- Grid Position Forecast: The perfect pick for this was Zhou. No-one got him. Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin got a close result with Vettel. There were eight other minus guesses.
- Opening Lap Forecast: Only Steady Jordan got the one perfect choice of Bottas. Camber Gamblers were close with Albon. Quite a number of drivers lost a place or two, but no-one picked them. There were three minus guesses.
- Race Result Forecast: The perfect choice was Gasly. Again, everyone's crystal ball was foggy. Almost every team opted for Stroll, which was a close result. Those rolling with Stroll were Camber Gamblers, Cockpit Misfits, It's a Trap Lando, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi and What Verstappened. Steady Jordan got a close result with Ocon: they clearly didn't get the memo.
- Camber Gamblers and Steady Jordan both earned a 5-point bribe with their forecasting.
With Cillit Bang, the fog on your crystal ball is GONE! Polish your balls and submit a Fast Forecast now.
PITLANE PUNTS IN THE NETHERLANDS
- Pigeons were a problem in Zandvoort, with people posting pics of pulverised pigeons on Reddit. Lovely. The Wildlife Wager lands for Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and Work Shop Boys.
- Vettel messed up his final qualifying lap to ensure success for the Seb Schlep Punt. Points for Hot Hot Hovercraft, Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and Work Shop Boys. With Lance Stroll showing up Seb rather too much, this punt is now withdrawn.
- The Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt came home once again in last place. Plenty of points for Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and Your Answer.
- Mick Schumacher continues to not collect championship points. Alfa Daley, Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin all win the Gloomy Schumi Punt. Hot Hot Hovercraft, Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened will have to wait until Monza for their Gloomy result. Because of far too much loserness, this punt is now withdrawn.
- The Flexi Floor Flutter will conclude in Monza. The teams guessing Mercedes are certain to win this punt, which is good news for Nikita Mazepin, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened. Meanwhile, Steady Jordan and Work Shop Boys are gambling on Red Bull which, er, might not be such good news. Let's see what happens next week.
- Four teams are gambling on the new Schu Shoo Punt. They are Alfa Daley, Double Daley, Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin. Want to join them?
- And now for the losing punts. The big teams had the nerve not to retire, which was a calamity for the Top of the Crop Stop Punt. Losses for Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened.
- Unlike the last three grands prix, the Nicholas Nudge Punt didn't pay off. That means stake losses for Alfa Daley, Double Daley, Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened.
- We have two more new Pitlane Punts for you to place a flutter on. Have a look at the Bernie Earner and the Best Laid El-Plans Punt.
Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in the Netherlands.
Here is the complete Losers team data for the Netherlands.
And here's how it's affected the standings.
Access your personal team page here.
Our next stop in the F1 calendar is Monza, where the Tifosi are likely to painr the town red. Not many races left after that. Have a look at the full 2022 schedule.
We recently launched three new Pitlane Punts. You can gamble on Mick Schumacher's future with the Schu Shoo. is already live. Whip up a scandal with the Bernie Earner. Or go awry with the Best Laid El-Plans punt.
Remember, we're now offering 5-point bribes if two of your Fast Forecasts earn points. Place a Forecast now.
18th September is Losers Loan Sunday. We will give every team 13 points credit, to be "spent" on a variety of team actions before the month is out. See more about Losers Loan Sunday.