BIGGEST LOSERS IN SAUDI ARABIA
- LockedDownLosers topped the scores in Saudi Arabia, a combination of Boosts, Forecasts and Punts giving them the edge. 262 whole points to them. They scored 15 more points from Pitlane Punts than their bitter rival HAASN'T A CHANCE...
- It's remarkable that HAASN'T A CHANCE got 2nd place with 231 points considering they weren't Boosted at all. Again, they threw a load of Forecasts and Punts at the race. They scored 15 more points from Forecasts than their bitter rival LockedDownLosers...
- Mancunian Badboy Racing's two Boost Buttons helped them to 3rd place and an impressive 225 points.
- Panda Pops had an incredible Race Points tally, as did anyone with Williams and Mazepin on their team. A Boost and a Punt topped this up: they get 207 points and 4th place in Saudi.
- Despite only scoring one measly point from Stroll, WereDrivingInReverse secure 5th place and 160 points.
- NEEEOOOOWWWW did the best job of Boost Buttons in the race, although the Buttons were pressed automatically on December 1st rather than through their own choosing. 6th place and 153. Thank us later, NEEE. Can we call you NEEE?
- Worth nothing that the worst scoring team in Saudi Arabia was Team Name. Have a look at the Standings to see how this has affected the season scores.
Carry on reading for all the Losers team action in Saudi Arabia.
TEAM ACTIONS IN SAUDI ARABIA
- Of the teams that ran with two Boosts, NEEEOOOOWWWW were the best booster, clocking up 102 extra points thanks to Mazepin and Williams's high scores.
- VroomDoom earned an extra 92 points from their two-Button top-up, while several teams scored an impressive 90: Clean Trolls, Mancunian Badboy Racing, Not good on the BENds and WereDrivingInReverse.
- Worst booster of the two-Boost teams? Murraylivesforeverinourhearts gained just 50 extra points.
- Of the single Boost teams, Panda Pops did a fantastic job, gaining 61 extra points. Lou-sers did worst, adding only 35 points to their score.
- One team didn't Boost in Saudi Arabia. That was HAASN'T A CHANCE. Zero extra points. They just had to sit on the side-lines watching all the other children eat ice cream instead of them.
All the newly pressed Boost Buttons carry through to the final race of the season in Abu Dhabi.
Pitlane Punts were mega in Jeddah. LockedDownLosers punted the best in Saudi Arabia, gaining 155 extra points. HAASN'T A CHANCE were close behind, gaining 140 points. Honourable mention Mancunian Badboy Racing and Panda Pops who scooped a 90 and 85 point profit respectively.
- FINALLY, Mazepin span. His crash in FP2 earned a Mazespin punt win for HAASN'T A CHANCE and LockedDownLosers. They get 90 points each.
- Raikkonen bashed into 'Badminton mate' Vettel in the race. This means the Romeo Oh Romeo pays out. HAASN'T A CHANCE get 40 points, while the higher-staked LockedDownLosers get 120.
- Sainz dinged the wall in quali, but the result was major, wrecking his qualifying progress. Mancunian Badboy Racing were Break Assisted into playing the Carlos Car Loss: they win 90 points. HAASN'T A CHANCE win 30.
- Mixed results for the Motormouth, which asks teams to guess sweary team radio chatter. In F1's team radio highlights on YouTube, six drivers swore (Hamilton twice!). Mazepin's FP3 bleep gets Panda Pops 100 points. However, HAASN'T A CHANCE and LockedDownLosers betted on a clean-mouthed Verstappen, and lose stakes of 10 and 20 points respectively
- Yuki Tsunoda has stopped talking about food. The Hungry Hungry Yuki punt expired without success for HAASN'T A CHANCE and LockedDownLosers, and they lose 10 and 20 points respectively. Spot a pattern of betting here?
- LockedDownLosers and Panda Pops both played the Giantkiller – pretty wise considering Jeddah's ever-looming barriers. However, Hamilton came out tops, so they each lose 15 points.
- Not a single hippopotamus breaking into Alpine hospitality? The Wildlife Wager expired for Team Name, with their sad animal-free punt costing them a stake of 15 points. LockedDownLosers are also playing this punt, and need to see a critter turn up in Abu Dhabi. Dolphin track invasion?
- And finally, HAASN'T A CHANCE, LockedDownLosers, Pierre Ghastly and Team Name will be waiting on the results of their Broken Woking punt in Abu Dhabi. It now seems certain to pay out.
- The Better Than Vettel punt would also have paid out, but no-one played it. Vet-nil.
- HAASN'T A CHANCE netted 50 points from Forecasts in Jeddah. Those points were gained from their spot-on Qualifying forecast for Latifi and successful Opening Lap forecast for Russell, who dropped 14th to 17th. They threw a couple of Forecasts at Giovinazzi, but their almost-correct and incorrect results cancelled each other out. Giovi-nada.
- Forecasts for LockedDownLosers earned them 35 points. Like HAASN'T, they correctly guessed Latifi's qualifying position. They also placed Qualifying forecasts for Russell and Vettel, both almost-corrects. They placed Race Result forecasts for Giovinazzi (almost-correct) and Raikkonen (incorrect): another zero point cancel-out. Raikko-none.
- Two Break Assisted Fast Forecasts paid off. Back of the shed get 25 points from their Stop Time prediction for Russell. And WereDrivingInReverse got 25 points for their Opening Lap prediction for Latifi.
- The Pit Lockers also had a Break Assisted forecast. Their Opening Lap prediction for Norris was frustrated by Nozzer gaining a position on lap one. No point loss for the Lockers because it was Break Assisted.
- Make a Fast Forecast for the final race of the season!
- Murraylivesforeverinourhearts had another Break Assisted Ejector Seat because of their low score in the last race. We made them replace Gasly with Latifi. Poor Murray. It only earned them a couple of extra points in Saudi Arabia.
PODIUM OF SHAME
As announced last race, the Podium of Shame is now strictly based on Race Points, without including points gained or lost from Boost Buttons, Fast Forecasts or Pitlane Punts. It's a better measure of underlying rubbishness. The teams with the lowest Race Points will be forced into playing Forecasts, Punts and Ejector Seats.
Here are the top three lowest Race-pointed Losers teams in Jeddah. Because three teams scored identical points, for this race, we're expanding this Podium of Shame to a bottom five.
- The Tour de France is Better scored a rubbish 29 points. They will be made to play a Race Result Fast Forecast for Norris in Abu Dhabi. If it's incorrect, the League will waive any lost points.
- Fernando Analonso, Nikita Mazepimp and Thomas's Tractors each scored a reprehensible 27 Race Points. Pitlane Punts for them! Analonso will put 15 points on the Giantkiller, Mazepimp will place 100 points on Verstappen for the new 2021 Chump Punt, and Thomas's Tractors will bet 30 points on the Better Than Vettel. Decision made. If they lose these punts, the League will waive any stake payments.
- Despite several Ejector Seats giving them worse, and therefore higher scoring, drivers, Murraylivesforeverinourhearts are yet again at the bottom of the Race Points with a score of 25. If we make them use yet another Ejector Seat, it would be like kicking a puppy then stealing its candy floss. The Latifi replacement was disappointing. Latifi's gone. Replaced with Tsunoda. Take THAT, puppy.
LOSERS TEAM SCORES IN SAUDIA ARABIA
|
1st |
LockedDownLosers BB FF PP |
262 |
|
2nd |
HAASN'T A CHANCE FF PP |
231 |
|
3rd |
Mancunian Badboy Racing BBx2 PP |
225 |
|
4th |
Panda Pops BB PP |
207 |
|
5th |
WereDrivingInReverse BBx2 FF |
160 |
|
6th |
NEEEOOOOWWWW BBx2 |
153 |
|
7th |
VroomDoom BBx2 |
138 |
|
8th |
Back of the shed BBx2 FF |
136 |
|
9th |
Clean Trolls BBx2 |
135 |
|
9th |
Not good on the BENds BBx2 |
135 |
|
11th |
Gunther's Gonna Get Ya BBx2 |
123 |
|
12th |
It’s a trap Lando! BBx2 |
111 |
|
13th |
Haas Beens BBx2 |
108 |
|
14th |
Pierre Ghastly BBx2 |
105 |
|
15th |
The Pit Lockers BBx2 FF |
93 |
|
16th |
Cruthers Car Co. BB |
92 |
|
17th |
The Tour de France is Better BBx2 |
87 |
|
18th |
Steady Jordan BB |
82 |
|
19th |
Fernando Analonso BBx2 |
81 |
|
19th |
Nikita Mazepimp BBx2 |
81 |
|
19th |
Thomas's Tractors BBx2 |
81 |
|
22nd |
Murraylivesforeverinourhearts BBx2 EJ |
75 |
|
23rd |
Tardi Minardi BB |
74 |
|
24th |
Lou-sers BB |
70 |
|
25th |
Team Name BB PP |
67 |
BB = Boost Button pressed
FF = Fast Forecast played
PP = Pitlane Punt played or playing
EJ = Ejector Seat launched
LS = Lucky Spanner used
MORE POINTS
Here are the Race points for Saudi Arabia.
And here's how it's affected the Standings.
Access your personal team page here.
WHAT'S NEXT?
The season finale is upon us. Our latest standings suggest the F1 Losers championship battle isn't over, even if it's not as close as the remarkable real Formula One season. We have one final race in Abu Dhabi, at which most teams will still be running two Boost Buttons. Lots of triple points. To spice things up, we have one final, high-stakes, Pitlane Punt: play the 2021 Chump Punt now.
