Wednesday, 24 November 2021

Losers team scores: Qatari grand prix

Antonio Giovinazzi calling the job centre


  • Panda Pops popped to top spot in Qatar thanks to two Boost Buttons (woah!), which tripled their points to 114. Their Pitlane Punt loss and Fast Forecast win cancelled each other out.
  • Giovinazzi getting sacked worked out well for the Boosted Lou-sers, scoring 84 points and 2nd place.
  • 3rd place goes to NEEEOOOOWWWW with 53 points, with Mazepin, oddly, being their least scoring team member.
  • Haas Beens enjoyed their best result for five races, with 52 points and ensuring 4th place in Qatar.
  • With no help from Boost Buttons, Cruthers Car Co. scored a brilliant 51 points and 3rd place. Thank goodness for those punctures, huh.
  • Tardi Minardi complete our list of high scorers, with 47 points and 6th place

Carry on reading for all the Losers team action in Qatar.


Boost Buttons

  • Panda Pops played two Boost Buttons, which meant triple points in Qatar. Based on a solid score, an extra 76 points to them.
  • Lou-sers and HAASN'T A CHANCE each played one Button. They had a great race in Qatar, scoring 42 and 41 extra points respectively.
  • A poor showing from Steady Jordan meant a slightly deflated Boost Button, adding only 24 points to their score.
On December 1st, every unpressed Boost Button will be pressed. 17 Losers teams haven't pressed either of their Buttons: they'll face the last two races with triple race points. Some teams have one Button left, and some have none left so may fall behind. Expect mayhem.

Pitlane Punts:

Because of the odds, Pitlane Punts do fail more they than succeed, but they do work out as an overall positive if you play them enough. We didn't expect EVERY punt to fail at a race. This happened in Qatar. Oh heck.
  • Mazepin hasn't spun his car for three races, his longest unspun run of the season. HAASN'T A CHANCE, LockedDownLosers and Panda Pops all lose the Mazespin punt, the first two losing a 30-point stake, and old Pops losing nothing because their gamble was Break Assisted.
  • Motormouth time. Stroll and Perez got sweary on their team radio. Those were the wrong drivers for LockedDownLosers who bet on Verstappen and lose 20 points, HAASN'T A CHANCE who also chose Verstappen and lose 10 points, and Panda Pops who opted for Mazepin and lose 20 points,
  • Pierre Ghastly and HAASN'T A CHANCE placed the Romeo Oh Romeo punt. Neither Alfa car hit anything despite the League trying to distract them with a laser pen. A loss of 10 and 30 points respectively.
  • Esteban Ocon's second best result of the year cost Steady Jordan their 20-point stake in the Ocon Odds-On.
  • For the fifth time this season, Team Name played the Giantkiller. For the fifth time, they lose the punt. A 15 point stake lost.
  • Stroll finished the race four positions ahead of Vettel, which wasn't quite the five needed to land the Better Than Vettel punt. Steady Jordan lose 10 points.
  • Murraylivesforeverinourhearts had a second stab at the Russell Hustle, without success. They lose their 10 point stake.
  • Ricciardo's nickname namesake the honey badger is native to Qatar, apparently. And Alonso told Ocon to "defend like a lion". Despite this, there was no actual animal appearance this weekend. Thomas's Tractors' Wildlife Wager lapses and they lose 10 points. LockedDownLosers and Team Name continue to play the punt.
  • HAASN'T A CHANCE, LockedDownLosers and Team Name have the Broken Woking active. We'll retire this punt in the next couple of days, so bet now. It's easy points, we reckon.
  • And the clock is ticking down fast on the Hungry Hungry Yuki punt for HAASN'T A CHANCE (they have until 3 December) and LockedDownLosers (they have until 29 November).

Fast Forecasts:

  • LockedDownLosers were the finest forecaster in Qatar. Their Qualifying prediction for Raikkonen was spot on, earning them 25 points, and they almost got the same forecast right for Russell, adding an extra 5 points. Stunning.
  • At last the Stop Time Forecast pays off. Panda Pops predicted one of the three slowest pitlane times for Tsunoda, and he was indeed third slowest behind Russell and Bottas. This 25-point win is slightly deflated by Panda's 5-point loss forecasting an Opening Lap fall-back for Tsunoda. Still, 20 points overall is excellent.
  • HAASN'T A CHANCE clocked up 10 points with two almost-wins, predicting a 16th place Qualifying Forecast for Giovinazzi and for Latifi. Good work.
  • Even Tardi Minardi earned five points predicting an Opening Lap loss for Sainz. Lawks!
  • There's more. Team Name placed a Qualifying Forecast for George Russell and this got them a 5-point almost win.
  • Thomas's Tractors were forced into an 11th place Result Forecast for Norris because of Break Assist. This was another almost-win, so the Tractors get 5 points. No, thank YOU.
  • Make a Fast Forecast for the next race now!

Ejector Seats: 

  • After Brazil, Break Assist forced Murraylivesforeverinourhearts to dump Leclerc and take on Raikkonen. This earned them an extra 4 points in Qatar. And they should be grateful for that 4 points, lapping it up like a honey badger.
Take a team action. See your personal team page here, or use the various links above.


We've made a change! We're rolling the Podium of Shame into Break Assist: think of it as a joint venture like Cagney & Lacey, Whizzer & Chips or foot & mouth. From now on, the Podium of Shame will feature the three lowest-scoring Losers teams in terms of pure race points (points earned from drivers and constructors), but this time, crucially, ignoring Boosts, Forecasts and Punts. Those three 'Shamed' teams will be subject to Break Assist, with the lowest scorer getting an Ejector Seat triggered. Not a big change, but a fairer one. So...


    Remember when the television series Lost lost its way and everyone was disappointed? The following teams are the fantasy league equivalent of Lost, meandering down narrative dead ends just like that episode in which we discovered Dooley McGuffin was the ghost of the crashed airplane's pilot pet wombat all along. Did that happen in Lost? No idea, we've never watched it.

    • In joint third-from-last with 27 points are Back of the shed, The Pit Lockers and WereDrivingInReverse. This means they all have to play Fast Forecasts because of Break Assist. Shed will be playing a Stop Time forecast for George Russell. Lockers will be forecasting an Opening Lap loss for Norris. And Reverse will be backed into a corner by playing an Opening Lap prediction for Latifi. The League will waive any points losses if these are incorrect.
    • Mancunian Badboy Racing are second from last with a measly 17 points. They are forced into the Carlos Car Loss Pitlane Punt at the Saudi Arabian grand prix, at a maximum stake of 30 points. The League will waive any stake losses.
    • Murraylivesforeverinourhearts continue their terrible streak by coming last again, scoring 16 points. They get yet another Ejector Seat triggered. This time they lose Gasly, who is randomly replaced by Latifi. This now means all of their original drivers have been Break Assisted into oblivion. We've messed up Murray's points over the last few races, so this will add yet another maths nightmare for us. THANKS, Murraylivesforeverinourhearts.
    • You'll notice LockedDownLosers and Pierre Ghastly among the low scores in the table below. They are spared a place in the Podium of Shame because their misfortune was due to bad Punting. 
    Personal team pages will be updated soon.


    Panda Pops BB PP FF






    Haas Beens


    Cruthers Car Co.


    Tardi Minardi FF




    Gunther's Gonna Get Ya




    Fernando Analonso


    Nikita Mazepimp


    Steady Jordan BB PP 


    It’s a trap Lando!


    Thomas's Tractors PP FF


    Team Name PP FF


    Clean Trolls


    Not good on the BENds


    The Tour de France is Better


    Back of the shed


    The Pit Lockers




    LockedDownLosers PP FF


    Mancunian Badboy Racing


    Pierre Ghastly PP


    Murraylivesforeverinourhearts PP EJ


    BB = Boost Button pressed
    FF = Fast Forecast played
    PP = Pitlane Punt played or playing
    EJ = Ejector Seat launched
    LS = Lucky Spanner used


    Here are the Race points for Qatar.

    And here's how it's affected the Standings.

    Access your personal team page here.


    Brace the mainsails! Batten down the hatches! Glue the dog to the sofa! Things are about to descend into chaos. On December 1st, every remaining unpressed Boost Button will be automatically pressed. That means 17 teams running with triple race points at the Saudi Arabia and Abu Dhabi grands prix in December, with a further 7 teams playing at least one Boost Button at either or both races. The final showdown is here.