Wednesday 3 August 2022

Losers team commentary: Hungarian grand prix 2022

Sebastian Vettel saying "hey guys, I'm driving for Alpine next year"

BIGGEST LOSERS IN HUNGARY

  • In 1st place at the Hungarian grand prix is Vladimir Mazepin with 142 points. They were the best Booster of the race, despite it being an automatic action. Lucky Vlad. Three Pitlane Punt wins certainly helped too.
  • What Verstappened take 2nd place with 138 points. Great Track Points, two perfect Forecasts and Punt wins to boot.
  • Vladimir Mazepin's sister team Nikita Putin comes 3rd with 110 points. Talk about a dominating performance in the League standings.
  • What Verstappened's sister outfit Strolling the ranks got 107 points and claim 4th place in Hungary. Loads of Forecast and Punt points.
  • In 5th position are Alfa Daley with 104, slightly flattered by pressing two Boost Buttons.
  • Nailing their Fast Forecasts were Scrapyard 17, whose 99 points give them 6th place.
This is the commentary page for the Hungarian grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.


TOP TRACK POINTS IN 
HUNGARY

Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.

  • Williams and Ricciardo helped Steady Jordan to a fine 59 Track Points in Hungary, better than any other team.
  • Just behind them are What Verstappened with 56 Track Points, despite a newly adopted Magnussen not quite pulling their weight.
  • Williams were the biggest loser for Cockpit Misfits, who scored 47 Track Points.
  • With 44 Track Points, Henry's Motors are up next. It could have been better if they hadn't ejected Ricciardi after France.
  • A gaggle of teams scored 41 Track Points, namely My heart will Grosjean, Scrapyard 17, Spoiler Alert and The Blue Flag Boys.
  • None of these top Track Pointing teams played a Boost Button, which is a tactical error worthy of Ferrari. Hard tyres indeed. Pfffrt.
This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Hungarian grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.


PODIUM OF SHAME

In the scores for each race, we highlight the Losers teams that scored the least number of Track Points. Rather than make them wear a face tattoo saying "I disappointed the Losers League", we will make them do something much more permanent: they'll be forced to take out the following automatic team actions.

  • Scoring just 22 Track Points are Group Team Name. It's a bit like a 2:2 at university, only worse. They will be made to carry out a Fast Forecast.
  • It's a Trap Lando had their worst Track Points result since the opening race of the season. Their 21 points gets them an automatic Pitlane Punt.
  • The lowest Track Points in Hungary were clocked up by Pierre Ghastly. Their not-so-sweet 16 points means they will be forced into a line-up change with an Ejector Seat..
Teams featured in this Podium of Shame will have any resulting points losses waived. We will be in touch with more detail on your automatic team actions.


EJECTOR SEATS IN 
HUNGARY

If you Eject team members and at the next race, you earn more Track Points than the previous pre-Ejected race, you get a 5-point Ejector bribe.
  • Cockpit Misfits, Henry's Motors, パンダポップ and What Verstappened all yanked their Ejector Seat levers and earned themselves a 5-point Bribe. Work Shop Boys also ejected and scored fewer Track Points than in France so are the point-less odd-one out here.
August is the so-called silly season in which F1 teams dump their drivers. Do the same. Trigger an Ejector Seat now.

BOOST BUTTONS IN HUNGARY

Here are the teams that played Boost Buttons in Hungary. Each race, we split them into three levels.
  • Best Boosts: The best Boosters by far at the Hungaroring are Vladimir Mazepin, who were automatically boosted. Their 38 boosted points are topped up by a 5-point Bribe.
  • Okay Boosts: In the mid-range are Alfa Daley, with 64 extra points on two Buttons, Nikita Putin, with an automatically-triggered 32 extra points, and Work Shop Boys, with 30 extra points.
  • Bad Boosts: Bringing up the rear, and not in a sexy way, are Double Daley, whose two Buttons only generated an extra 56 points, and Tardi Minardi, who gained an additional 26 points
Strap on that jet pack of multiplication. Boost for the next two races now.


FAST FORECASTS IN 
HUNGARY
    It's 20 points for a perfect Fast Forecast prediction, 5 points if it's close (within two places for the grid and race predictions, or dropping at least one place on the opening lap), and minus-5 for any other guess. We now give a 'bribe' of 5 extra points to any team that makes two perfect or close guesses.
    • Grid Position Forecast: The perfect choice was Tsunoda, spotted by none of our teams. Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened all guessed Albon and came close. Steady Jordan and Tardi Minardi selected a close Schumacher. Other close results were Vettel and Stroll. Five teams made incorrect guesses.
    • Opening Lap Forecast: The perfect choices were Bottas and Zhou, who lost five places each. Bottas was chosen by Scrapyard 17 and Vladimir Mazepin, while Zhou was chosen by Camber Gamblers, Cockpit Misfits, Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened. Lots of 20-pointers all round. Nikita Putin and Work Shop Boys came close with Ricciardo. Meanwhile, three teams were well wide of the mark.
    • Race Result Forecast: The perfect pick was Stroll, so congrats to Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened for being bang on. Close results were Zhou, Gasly, Vettel and Ocon. None of our teams picked these, while five teams made very incorrect choices and lost points.
    • Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened all got themselves 5-point Bribes.

    Try your hand at predicting what will happen at the next race. Make a Fast Forecast now.


    PITLANE PUNTS IN HUNGARY
    • Despite topping the practice times, Nicholas Latifi trundled his car to 18th place on Sunday. Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt wins for Alfa Daley, Double Daley, Henry's Motors, Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened, all of whom get 16 points, and for Scrapyard 17 who get 8 points.
    • The cameras saw Albon's collision on lap one, but missed Latifi's collision in which he lost part of his front wing. The Nicholas Nudge Punt pays off. 18 points to Nikita Putin, Vladimir Mazepin and Work Shop Boys, plus 9 points to Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened.
    • Sebastian Vettel did so badly in qualifying, he quit F1. The following teams win the Seb Schlep Punt: Alpine Fresh, who were forced into an automatic punt and win 20 points, Work Shop Boys, who also get 20 points, and sister teams Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened, who get 10 points apiece.
    • The Gloomy Schumi Punt landed for three teams at the Hungarian grand prix. That means 10-point wins for Nikita Putin, Steady Jordan and Vladimir Mazepin. Meanwhile, the punt holds for Henry's Motors, Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened, who will play this punt through to the Belgian grand prix.
    • The Top of the Crop Stop Punt has paid off for the past five grands prix. Not so in Hungary: the big teams managed to keep it on the track. Stake losses for Alfa Daley, Double Daley, Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened.
    • The Oh No Ocon Punt matured at the Hungarian grand prix and is now closed to submissions. Ocon needed to do much worse than Bottas in Hungary for this punt to pay off. What happened? Ocon scored points and Bottas was the only retirement of the race. Dammit. Punt losses for Henry's Motors and Tardi Minardi, while Hot Hot Hovercraft lose nothing because their punt was automatic. 
    • A number of teams are still hoping on Ricciardo will lose his seat so they can win the Badger Dispatcher Punt. Time is running out. Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin have until 26th August, Strolling the ranks and What Verstappened have until 27th August, Mancunian Badboy Racing have until the 28th, while Work Shop Boys have until 9th September.
    • Several teams still have the Wildlife Wager in play. Meanwhile, we have updated our Flexi Floor Flutter with some useful statistics and clearer wording, just to keep you nerds happy.
    Alexander the Great never gambled a Pitlane Punt. And where is he now? Dead. Play a Pitlane Punt.


    MORE POINTS

    Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in Hungary.

    Here is the complete Losers team data for Hungary.

    And here's how it's affected the standings.

    Access your personal team page here.


    WHAT'S NEXT?

    We're now in the summer break in which all the F1 teams have to down tools and twiddle their thumbs until the next grand prix, which is in Belgium on August 28th. Have a look at the 2022 calendar.

    We don't like to rest on our laurels or on our haunches or any other words we don't quite understand. Throughout August, we will release new Pitlane Punts: a nice refresh to get you addicted to gambling just in time for autumn.

    We're likely to run a Fast Forecasts freebie day later in August. This means there will be a 24-hour period during which you can place a Forecast with zero points liability. We'll announce this some time in the middle of the month.

    We have no automatic Boost Buttons lined up for Belgium, other than the Boosts currently running. The Netherlands a week later will be quite different, with 11 teams due to have their Buttons automatically pressed. Beat the Boost bots by bashing a Button now.