Wednesday 22 June 2022

Losers team commentary: Canadian grand prix 2022

Mick Schumacher poring over paperwork with his engineers, saying "Work Shop Boys? This is like Kraftwerk, yes?"


  • 1st Work Shop Boys 101  |  Good punting and the best Booster of the race, barely diminished by a minor Forecast loss
  • 2nd Strolling the ranks 98  |  A double Pitlane Punt success underpinned their marvellous Montreal
  • 3rd Nikita Putin 83  |  Didn't particularly excel with Track Points, but got a let-up from some plucky punting
  • 4th Vladimir Mazepin 76  |  Along with their sister team in 3rd place, VladMaz were one of only two teams that won three Pitlane Punts in Canada
  • 5th Pierre Ghastly 74  |  Helped by punting on Williams' poor performance
  • 6th Double Daley 69  |  The best Track Points of the race
This is the commentary page for the Canadian grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.


Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.

  • Latifi and Magnussen helped Double Daley to the top Track Points score in Canada. 44 were their scores on the doors.
  • Their sister team Alfa Daley scored 40 Track Points despite their newly adopted Zhou scoring zero. 
  • Group Team Name also racked up 40 Track Points, again with a Latifi / Mags bump. Tardi Minardi also got 40 Track Points. Jeez everyone, if you like 40 so much, why don't you marry it?!
  • Another stonking Haas score contributed to Work Shop Boys' 39 Track Points.
  • Jointly bringing in 38 Track points were Mancunian Badboy Racing and Spoiler Alert.
Only one of these seven top-Track Pointing teams played a Boost Button. A missed opportunity? Press your Boost Button now.

This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Canadian grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.


In the scores for each race, we highlight the Losers teams that scored the least number of Track Points. These teams think they're so clever, winning instead of losing, thriving instead of failing. Who do they think they are? Let's ruin their lives with some automatic team actions:
  • Alpine Fresh and Hot Hot Hovercraft ended up joint third-from-last in the Canadian Track Points. They will each be made to play a Fast Forecast.
  • Your Answer will be given an automatic Pitlane Punt after notching up a nasty 9 Track Points. A terrible result. We can't even think of a number lower than 9.
  • Oh wait, yes we can. With just 5 Track Points, パンダポップ have the worst Track Points result for any team since Cruther's Junior's 0 in Saudi Arabia. One of their two remaining Ejector Seats will be automatically triggered by the League.
Teams featured in this Podium of Shame will have any resulting points losses waived. We will be in touch with more detail on your automatic team actions.


If you Ejector your team and you earn more points than in the previous pre-Ejected race, you get a 5-point Ejector bribe.
  • Every team that Ejected for Canada gained a 5-point bribe. Well done, everyone. Here, have a lollipop. Just one lick. Now give the lollipop back. Congratulations to Alfa Daley, Double Daley, Strolling the ranks, Work Shop Boys and, with an automatic Eject, Cruther’s Junior and less well funded team B.
Tune up (or is it down?) your team by changing its members. Use an Ejector Seat now.


Here are the teams that played Boost Buttons in Canada, some with more success than others. Let's break it down.
  • In our "You are best at Boosts" notebook is just one name: Work Shop Boys. Their extra 39 points put them head and shoulders above any other team, and they get a 5-point Boost bribe to boot.
  • In the dull midfield, proving that they are the statistical equivalent of Coldplay, are Strolling the ranks with a supplementary 30 points, Cruther’s Car Co. who double their 29 Track Points, My heart will Grosjean who also get an added 29, Pierre Ghastly who get an extra 28 points, and Henry's Motors who double their 24.
  • Just below them in the mire, their feet muddied with shame, and the poorly Boosted Steady Jordan, adding 22 points, Cockpit Misfits, who clock up 21 additional points, and Work Shop Boys' sister team Scrapyard 17 who double a disappointing 21 Track Points.
Want to be a Rebel MC and opt for some Double Trouble? It's an old music reference: ask your great grandmother. Boost for the next two races now.

    Remember: it's 20 points for an exactly correct Fast Forecast, 5 points if it's almost correct, and minus-5 if it's very wrong.
    • After some shuffling due to penalties, Vettel found himself starting in 16th place and was therefore the pick for Grid Position Forecast. But with such a rain-randomised grid, everyone lost this Forecast. Bad luck, Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi, What Verstappened and Work Shop Boys.
    • No-one dropped three places or more on the first lap, although some drivers did drop a couple of places. 5-point almost-corrects for Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan and Vladimir Mazepin. And losses for the incorrect Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and Work Shop Boys.
    • Ricciardo was the right racer for the Race Result Forecast. No exact guesses, but there were plenty of almost-theres from Nikita Putin, Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and Work Shop Boys. Steady Jordan naffed it up, as did Strolling the ranks who lose nothing because their Forecast was automatically placed.
    • We're giving 15 points to Cockpit Misfits because we short-changed them with their Fast Forecasts in Spain.
    Want to turn a Fast Forecast into a Fast Phwoar-cast? Make a prediction for the next race now.

      • This race gave us a plethora of Pitlane Punt points. Let's start with the Wildlife Wager, which was played by five teams then immediately won thanks to repeated appearances of invading groundhogs. Let's start with the Wildlife Wager, which was played by five teams then immediately won thanks to repeated appearances of invading groundhogs. See what we did there? 20 points each to Double Daley, Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened.
      • A bottom-two finish may prove lethal to Latifi's future in F1. But it worked out well for Nikita Putin, Pierre Ghastly, Scrapyard 17, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened, who all earn 18 points each with the Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt.
      • With just a few laps gone, Perez got grounded by his gearbox, ensuring the Top of the Crop Stop Punt paid off. 18 points apiece to Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin and Work Shop Boys.
      • The Gloomy Schumi Punt held tight, despite Schumacher threatening to get his first points finish in F1. Six Losers teams stand to gain from this punt at the British grand prix. Six teams are also playing the Badger Dispatcher Punt, which, we can announce, will be withdrawn at the end of this month.
      • We had some losses for the Nicholas Nudge Punt because, well, he didn't nudge anything. Nikita Putin and Vladimir Mazepin lose their 6-point stakes, as do Panda Pops who are the only Losers team to make an overall loss at Pitlane Punts in Canada. Hot Hot Hovercraft don't lose points because their failed Punt was automatically played.
      • No-one played the Seb Schlep Punt, which was a stupid mistake because he had an appalling qualifying.
      You can play a Pitlane Punt by walking into a Betfred's and trying to explain the F1 Losers League to an unsuspecting member of staff before getting thrown out by security. Or you take the easier option and visit all of the Pitlane Punts here.


      Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in Canada.

      Here is the complete Losers team data for Canada.

      And here's how it's affected the standings.

      Access your personal team page here.

      WHAT'S NEXT?

      There are four races in July, starting with the British grand prix on 3rd July. Expect all that jubilee bunting to get dragged out of the bottom cupboard again. Following Silverstone, there's a two-month run of races in Europe: have a look at the season calendar

      On 1st July, were going to implement a change to Fast Forecasts. Not enough of you are earning Forecast bonuses, so we want to change that.

      We're 40% of the way through the season, which means you should have Boosted at least two times and Ejected at least four times. Take a look at your progress on your personal team page, then submit a team action or two. You can even DM us on Twitter^ because we're cutting edge.