Wednesday 15 June 2022

Losers team commentary: Azerbaijan grand prix 2022

A troubled Carlos Sainz saying "I did it for the Losers League"


  • After coming 3rd in Monaco, It's a Trap Lando get 1st place in Azerbaijan with 97 points. Top Track Points and the best Booster.
  • Mancunian Badboy Racing's second double-Boost earns them a second 2nd place in a row, on 96 points. Wow, that was confusing to write.
  • パンダポップ enjoyed their best score of the year. Their 92 points, gained from good Track Points, good Boosting and a Punt win, gets them 3rd place.
  • Their sister team Panda Pops are just behind, clocking up 4th place with 90 points. Same reasons as パンダポップ. Definitely a joint strategy going on.
  • Yet another Boosted team. This time it's Spoiler Alert, who get 78 and 5th place in Azerbaijan.
  • Joining this top scoring, er, group, is Group Team Name. 6th place and 76 points. Fun fact: they're nothing to do with Team Name. We think they're just goading them.
No teams really gained from Ferrari woes because Ferrari aren't on anyone's Losers team. Dammit.

This is the commentary page for the Azerbaijan grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.


Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.

  • A stonking Haas score means It's a Trap Lando score the most track points in Baku. All 46 of them.
  • Great scoring all-round meant Panda Pops picked up 40 Track Points. Solid team!
  • Spoiler Alert and Team Name each got 39 Track Points, Tsunoda the biggest scorer for each of them.
  • A similar story for Group Team Name, although they were slightly let down by Latifi. 38 Track Points for them.
  • パンダポップ and Vladimir Mazepin each get a satisfyingly prime number of 37 Track Points.

This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Azerbaijan grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.


In the scores for each race, we highlight the Losers teams that scored the least number of Track Points. We also write their names down in a big red book, and then we frown at that book in candlelight and mutter strange incantations until shadows rise and all darkness prevails. We also phone them up and call them a dick. Only joking, we just make them carry out automatic team actions:
  • Hot Hot Hovercraft turned into a lukewarm, lukewarm dinghy with only 14 Track Points. An automatic Fast Forecast for them.
  • What happened to What Verstappened? With just 11 Track Points they're facing an automatic Pitlane Punt.
  • For a second time, Cruther’s Junior and less well funded team B will be made to change their team with an Ejector Seat. Only 10 Track Points. Those funding cuts are really kicking in, huh.
Teams featured in this Podium of Shame will have any resulting points losses waived. We will be in touch with more detail on your automatic team actions.


If you Ejector your team and you earn more points than in the previous pre-Ejected race, you get a 5-point Ejector bribe. Every little helps.
  • Alpine Fresh and Tardi Minardi are the cats that got the cream, because they each get a 5-point top-up. Fresh were automatically Ejected, with Ricciardo joining their team, while Tardi brought in Schumacher.
  • Double Daley and The Blue Flag Boys didn't do better, so they're the cream that got got by cats. No 5 points for them.
Make your team worse. It's what the Losers League is all about. Use an Ejector Seat now.


Loads of teams faced automatic Boost Buttons in Monaco. Double Track Points whether they liked it or not. Because this kind of reporting can get kinda dull, if a team was automatically Boosted, we're going to nickname them with a fruit or vegetable.
  • The top tier of Boosters in Baku were It's a Trap Lando with 46 extra points plus the 5-point Boost bribe for being boss, Panda Pops with an additional 40 points, Spoiler Alert with a supplementary 39, Group Team Name who grabbed and extra 38 points, and パンダポップ who added 37 to their score.
  • In the mid-tier Boost results, in the file marked "NO HARM DONE" in faded marker pen, are Mancunian Badboy Racing with a top-up of 64 points, a double-boost flattering an average score, Camber Gamblers with a further 34 points, VroomerDoomer with an extra 31, and Sainz-Tropez who totted up an extra 25 points.
  • Boosting worse than Liz Truss trying to build a jet pack are Cockpit Misfits and Scrapyard 17 who each earned a further 21 points, Alpine Fresh with a slightly unfresh extra 15, Hot Hot Hovercraft and an added 14 points, and Cruther’s Junior and less well funded team B with just a boost of 10 points.
  • Many of the automatic Boost Buttons have now run their course, so expect Boosts to calm down significantly in Canada. With the exception of Cruther's Car Co. and Steady Jordan who will be automatically Boosted for Canada and Britain. 
Want to boost yerself? Boost for the next two races now.

    Remember: it's 20 points for an exactly correct Fast Forecast, 5 points if it's almost correct, and minus-5 if it's very wrong.
    • For the Grid Position Forecast, you should have chosen Magnussen. No-one did, but we had almost-corrects from Scrapyard 17, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi and Work Shop Boys. Unfortunately, What Verstappened and Steady Jordan got it fully wrong. 
    • Five drivers lost position on lap one, but not enough for anyone to win 20 points. 5 points to close-guessers Steady Jordan, while Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi and What Verstappened all lose points. 
    • The Race Result Forecast saw everyone making incorrect guesses. Blame Bottas for finishing 11th. The following teams were way off the mark: Scrapyard 17, Steady Jordan, Strolling the ranks, Tardi Minardi and, with a loss-free automatic Forecast, Strolling the ranks.
    • We did a points boo-boo last time round, so we've given a +20 Fast Forecast points correction to Strolling the ranks and Vladimir Mazepin.
    Do you dare take on the fearsome Forecasts? Make a Fast Forecast prediction for the next race now.

      • A couple of races ago, a loads of teams went for a two-race Gloomy Schumi Punt. They all win 10 points in Azerbaijan. Those teams are Nikita Putin, Panda Pops, Pierre Ghastly, Scrapyard 17, Vladimir Mazepin and What Verstappened. Meanwhile, Mancunian Badboy Racing (automatically triggered), My heart will Grosjean and Strolling the ranks continue to play four-race Gloomies.
      • Latifi's last place meant the Williams You Are Really Nothing was an easy win for What Verstappened and, with an automatic Punt, パンダポップ . With their lower stake, Scrapyard 17 win 9 points.
      • Ferrari's double retirement ensured the Top of the Crop Stop Punt landed with aplomb. 18 points go to Strolling the ranks.
      • Not much else in play. Alfa Daley lost the Nicholas Nudge at a cost of 6 points and their sister team Double Daley lost 5 points on the Seb Schlep.
      • No-one's currently playing the Wildlife Wager. Loads of teams are playing the Badger Dispatcher Punt. Poor Danny! The badger baiters are Mancunian Badboy Racing, Nikita Putin, Strolling the ranks, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and, newly baiting, Work Shop Boys.
      Remember, gambling is for all year, not just for Christmas. See the full list of playable Pitlane Punts.


      Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in Azerbaijan.

      Here is the complete Losers team data for Azerbaijan.

      And here's how it's affected the standings.

      Access your personal team page here.

      WHAT'S NEXT?

      We're off to Canada this weekend. See the full season calendar.

      After that, we're going to tweak the Fast Forecasts. Not sure how yet, but they need to be paying out more points. In the meantime, keep your crystal ball nice and polished and place a Fast Forecast now.

      From July 1st, the Raceday Special Track Points element pivots once again. At the moment, it awards 5 points for the slowest pit time. For races in July and August, it will award 5 points to the race-finishing car that finishes the most number of places behind their teammate.

      Hey. You. Get Boosting. Get Ejecting. Or get Punting. The Losers League staggers on.