You know that bit in the Usual Suspects where the guy turns out not to be the guy you thought he was and everyone was like "loooool it's him!" and everyone else was like "I know right?!"
At the Hungarian grand prix, you were watching the wrong car. You were all obsessing about Bottas, who topped the driver points, but actually it was all about Raikkonen causing chaos in the pitlane. Kimi's snafu earned a big score for one particular Loser's Team.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that you're allowed to drive into other cars in the pitlane. Read on for the Losers Teams scores for Hungary.
LOSERS TEAM SCORES IN HUNGARY
Team Name did a Bottas in Hungary, namely they charged down the racetrack and barged everyone into the barriers. Their score of 182 certainly wasn't because of the race, with Latifi, Raikkonen and Tsunoda scoring them nothing. They won big on the Romeo Oh Romeo Pitlane Punt, when Raikkonen knocked into Mazepin in the pitlane. The punt bets that an Alfa Romeo will kn pot.c ock into something, and it certainly did. Mazepin called the incident "seriously f**king annoying." This huge points win has led to us worrying that Punts are affecting scores too much, but that's something to deal with in the future. For now, Team Name remain the team to beat.
WereDrivingInReverse had a very tidy score of 47, partly thanks to Norris's first retirement of the season. Perez is having a terrible run at the moment, which means Clean Trolls will be happy with 43 points. Mancunian Badboy Racing seem resurgent after a poor season so far, clocking in 40 points. Panda Pops triggered DRS to reach 40 points and Cruthers Car Co.'s Bottas bonanza gave them 37 points.
For the full Losers Team scores, scroll down.
TEAM ACTIONS IN HUNGARY
Pitlane Punts: Team Name won big on the Romeo Oh Romeo Pitlane Punt, but it was a sadder story for other teams. HAASN'T A CHANCE lost on the new Geunther's Plucky Sluggards punt, as did LockedDownLosers. To add insult to injury, LockedDownLosers' Wildlife Wager punt came to full term, and because not a single animal got a news story, they lost a big stake payment. Team Name are also currently playing the Wildlife Wager, while HAASN'T A CHANCE, LockedDownLosers, Pierre Ghastly and VroomDoom all have the Merc Merk in play. Incidentally, the Russell Hustle and the Giantkiller punts would have paid out on this race.
Ejector Seats: HAASN'T A CHANCE launched an Ejector Seat to replace Raikkonen with Vettel, almost as if they were predicting Vettel's race disqualification. Brilliant move.
Take a team action. See your personal team page here, or use the various links above.
PODIUM OF SHAME
It's time to scream into the blue yonder about the Losers Teams that failed to lose in Hungary. We usually feature just three teams in this section, but this was a hot mess.
Ocon and Alpine were fairly popular choices for teams this year, so their minus-25 points for winning the race has ruffled feathers. This led to Fernando Analonso and Thomas's Tractors scoring zero. Even worse, Steady Jordan got –10, Back of the shed netted –12, The Tour de France is Better got –13 and The Pit Lockers scored –15.
However, LockedDownLosers' score of –55 is the worst team result of the season yet. They lost 80 points on failed Pitlane Punts, but perhaps might take some comfort from the fact they dumped Ocon with an Ejector Seat a couple of months ago. It could have been so much worse...
LOSERS TEAM SCORES IN HUNGARY
|
Team Name |
182 |
|
WereDrivingInReverse |
47 |
|
Clean Trolls |
43 |
|
Mancunian Badboy Racing |
40 |
|
Panda Pops |
40 |
|
Cruthers Car Co. |
37 |
|
It’s a trap Lando! |
30 |
|
Pierre Ghastly |
28 |
|
Haas Beens |
25 |
|
Lou-sers |
25 |
|
Nikita Mazepimp |
25 |
|
HAASN'T A CHANCE |
24 |
|
Gunther's Gonna Get Ya |
22 |
|
NEEEOOOOWWWW |
13 |
|
Not good on the BENds |
13 |
|
Tardi Minardi |
13 |
|
VroomDoom |
13 |
|
Murraylivesforeverinourhearts |
5 |
|
Fernando Analonso |
0 |
|
Thomas's Tractors |
0 |
|
Steady Jordan |
-10 |
|
Back of the shed |
-12 |
|
The Tour de France is Better |
-13 |
|
The Pit Lockers |
-15 |
|
LockedDownLosers |
-55 |
+ Won a Pitlane Punt
~ Lost a Pitlane Punt
# Launched an Ejector Seat
= Used DRS
Note: Error corrected in scores for It's a Trap Lando!, moving them from 13th to 7th in Hungary
MORE POINTS
Here are the Race points for Hungary.
And here's how it's affected the Standings.
Access your personal team page here.
WHAT'S NEXT?
While the Formula One world takes its summer break, things are hotting up for the F1 Losers League. As we publish this page, we're about to launch a third Ejector Seat for every team, which means it's easier than ever up upgrade (downgrade?) your rubbish team selections.
Look out for announcements throughout August about new F1 Losers initiatives, including a new team action called Fast Forecast, a new points element called Sprint Fail, and a big change to our points doubling system. Meanwhile, we're next racing in Belgium on August 29th, which is a default DRS race.
