Wednesday 4 August 2021

Use your Ejector Seats to make your team worse

Cute Ejector Seat graphic

From today, every Losers Team has a third Ejector Seat. This is enough to replace a driver AND a constructor. Trigger those seats! Pow!

Here's our guide on how to approach Ejector Seats. Warning: contains a greedy duck. Read on.


Have a look at your personal team page, listed here on the Your Team page. The three drivers and one constructor that comprise your Losers Team are laid out at the top of the page.

This is important information. Tattoo it on your arm. Embroider it and display it in your toilet. Or just keep this information open in a tab in your browser or your memory.

Now scroll down. You'll see how many Ejector Seats you have unlocked and ready to use. Any unlaunched Ejector Seats are little portals to loserdom – let's get them launched!

You need one Ejector Seat to replace a driver and two Ejector Seats to replace a constructor.


Let's find out just how rubbish your team choices are. And by rubbish, we mean good, because we want your choices to be rubbish. It's a Losers League!

Pop to the Standings page. This lists how Losers Teams have done so far this season. More importantly, if you scroll down, you'll see how the drivers and constructors have scored so far this season. Look for the ones with higher scores.

Why don't we list points on Your Team page? Because updating all of those pages every time there's a race would take too long. We have a life, you know. There are books to read, hills to frolic over, zebras to wrestle.

Have a look at the how many points your team's drivers and constructors have. It's okay, but you could score more. This is where the next step comes in.


While you're on the Standings page, have a look at the higher scoring drivers and constructors that aren't on your team. Feel jealous. Let your heart fill with envy. Imagine yourself as Scrooge McDuck, but instead of swimming in money, you're swimming in Losers Points. And also you're not a duck.

Have in mind which of your team choices you want to get rid of. And now pick a replacement to join your team.

Picking a replacement doesn't have to be complicated. Follow the points. If a driver or constructor has a whole load of Losers Points, they're probably the one to go for.

However, you might want to bear in mind recent race performance. As we type this, the constructor Alpine have just tumbled down the standings because of a surprise race win. So we'd probably avoid them. Again, the Standings tables will give you a clue even if you didn't have this information to hand.

Replacement chosen? Good. Now let's do the deed.


Go to the Ejector Seat page, or the forms at the bottom of this article. There's a form for a driver change and a form for a constructor change. Fill in the form and submit. Done!

Remember that it's one Ejector Seat to replace a driver and two Ejector Seats to replace a constructor. once submitted, your personal team page will be updated to show your change and how many Seats you have left.

Oh and there's something important we forgot to mention. Any changes to your Losers Team must follow the Pit Garage Rule. See those letters next to your drivers and constructors? They must all be different letters at all times. You must obey this rule, or we will set a pack of furious zebras on you.


Congratulations, you have launched an Ejector Seat or two. In fact, if you have Ejector Seats left, do all of this again. Might as well. There are points to be earned!

Here are the forms you need. And while you're in a proactive mood, why not change one of your DRS allocations, or gamble your points on a Pitlane Punt.