The Nicholas Nudge Punt

We'll never forget that image of Nicholas Latifi's car in the Abu Dhabi barriers, hailing a seismic showdown to the 2021 F1 season.

But just how good is Nicholas Latifi at crashing into things? Let's find out.

Bet that Nicholas Latifi will make contact with a barrier or car at the next race weekend. Read on to play this Punt.

Standings after the Saudi Arabia grand prix 2022

Here the latest standings following the 2022 Bahrain grand prix.

Team Name are the new leaders. with a massive score flattered by the fact they blew all of their Boost Buttons at once. Expect a similar spike at the next race, then a slow erosion of their lead as everyone else Boosts back up towards them. The biggest climber was Work Shop Boys. Cruther’s Junior and less well funded team B tumble an impressive 21 places to last place.

Nicholas Latifi is the new worst driver, while the non-racing Schumacher and Tsunoda storm up that loserboard. Williams are now easily the worst constructor, with only Ferrari and Mercedes yet to score any points whatsoever. Use this information to inform your next Ejector Seat change.

Read on for the full Standings.

Losers team commentary: Saudi Arabia grand prix 2022

BIGGEST LOSERS IN SAUDI ARABIA

• Team Name built a reputation for bold moves in last year's Losers League. They've done it again, pressing all of their season's Boost Buttons at once. It contributed to a humongous race score of 371, but was it worth it? Read on.
• A healthy Track Points score doubled with a Boost Button gave Steady Jordan 2nd place in Saudi with 141 points.
• Cruther’s Car Co. doubled their way to 102 and 3rd place.
• In 4th were Cockpit Misfits, whose score of 101 was achieved with a Boost Button, and a clever Fast Forecast prediction for rookie Zhou Guanyu. 
• Pierre Ghastly were another Booster, their 98 points bringing them 5th place.
• And What Verstappened led the Ejector Seat charge, with the best Track Points result of any team in Saudi Arabia.
  

This is the commentary page for the Saudi Arabia grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.

Losers team data: Saudi Arabia grand prix 2022

Here is the complete Losers team data page for the Saudi Arabian grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bribes. 

For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page.

Carry on reading the data.

Track Points for drivers and constructors: Saudi Arabia grand prix 2022

This race was a high scorer: almost as high as the track walls the F1 drivers can't see around. Cars earned 242 Track Points in total, compared to a meagre 176 in Bahrain.

Yuki Tsunoda barely got to drive his terrible AlphaTauri. Mick Schumacher reduced his car to tindersticks. Nicholas Latifi tried to replicate Abu Dhabi 2021 by having a conversation with a wall. And all along, we tried to ignore the fact the Saudi Arabia grand prix takes place in a war zone. The coverage of the practice session featured a literal missile attack. We presume all those "no war" t-shirts are now in being used as rags in the team garages. Jeez.

Mick Schumacher was indeed the highest scorer, his terrifying crash reminding us how nasty this high-speed circuit can be. We love failure at the Losers League, but we really want our drivers to be safe. Thankfully, he was fine. Meanwhile, Williams are proving to be the Losers League's new favourite team, scoring a double retirement.

And spare a thought for Zhou Guanyu, who is now the first Chinese driver in history to score an F1 Losers League Track Point. We'll be in contact with Xi Jinping about organising a national holiday. We're thinking a parade: bunting, floats, coconut shy, that sort of thing. Lots of dragons dressed as F1 drivers. Uncle Geoff slumped in the corner, drunk on saké. It's going to be lovely.

Er... Where were we? Oh yes. Read on for all the Track Points in Saudi Arabia.

The Wildlife Wager [closed]

This punt is now closed to new submissions.

Everyone loves a fluffy thing, and we don't mean Lewis Hamilton's questionable taste in jumpers. 

Will the most technologically advanced spot be disrupted by be upstaged by a stray kitten or a randy wallaby?

Bet on an animal making an unexpected appearance at any of the next six grand prix weekends. Read on to play this Punt.

Pitlane Punt: The Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt [closed]

[This punt is now closed to new entries]

It has become painfully clear that the Williams cars are seriously struggling for pace.

But will they continue to produce terrible results?

Bet that either Williams car will finish in the bottom two at the next race. Read on to play this Punt.

Pitlane Punt: The Top of the Crop Stop Punt

We were all shocked when Red Bull suffered a disastrous double retirement at the opening grand prix of the season.

Which raises a question about the reliability of the top F1 teams...

Bet that any of the big three teams will retire a car at the next race. Read on to play this Punt.

Standings after the Bahrain grand prix 2022

Here are the latest standings following the 2022 Bahrain grand prix.

パンダポップ take an early lead of the 2022 F1 Losers League. They should feel proud of that, and nothing should take away that joy of being biggest loser. Having said that, The Pit Lockers (back this year as Alpine Fresh) topped the points in race one last year and ended the season in a lowly 17th place. In summary, what's the point of doing anything: hopes and dreams are there to be stamped on.

Red Bull snatch an unexpected lead in the constructors' standings, while Vettel and Gasly are battling it out for top losing driver. Half of the drivers and almost half of the constructors haven't scored a single Track Point yet, which, quite frankly, fills us with disgust. Do these people not know how to lose?!

Read on for the full Standings.

Losers team commentary: Bahrain grand prix 2022

BIGGEST LOSERS IN BAHRAIN

• Bahrain's top loser is パンダポップ. Yes, that's their name. Netting 90 points overall, they earned double-figure Track Points each from Vettel, Verstappen and AlphaTauri, while they made a couple of very well-predicted Fast Forecasts.
• In a distant 2nd place is Your Answer, the new team created by last year's League runners-up Team Name. They scored 59, mostly from healthy Track Points and some Fast Forecasting.
• Steady Jordan took a big risk playing a Boost Button so early on, but it worked out smashing for them. 3rd place and 55 points in Bahrain.
• Nikita Putin, set up by last year's podium sitters LockedDownLosers, threw a bunch of Fast Forecasts at the wall, but their strength was in a decent number of Track Points. 4th place and 54 points
• With 50 points, placing 5th at the Bahrain grand prix, is Nikita Putin's sister team Vladimir Mazepin. Oligarchs ahoy!
• And rounding up this top six is Cockpit Misfits, a total newcomer to the F1 Losers League who scored 45 points. Welcome!

This is the commentary page for the Bahrain grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.