Wednesday 5 April 2023

Losers team commentary: Australian grand prix 2023

Two pink Alpine cars crashed out next to each other, one driver saying "do you come here often" and the other driver saying "shut up"


    1st  |  Pierre Ghastly  |  83  |  A lovely load of Track Points and the best Booster of the race
    2nd  |  The Spanish translation of Mancunian Badboy Racing  |  75  |  Largely down to a double Boost
    3rd  |  Play to Win (Ultimate Champions)  |  68  |  Oodles of Track Points and a bonus thanks to a fortuitous compulsory Ejector Seat
    4th  |  Smackhead19  |  46  |  The highest Track Pointing team of Australia, in a race full of high Track Points
    5th  |  Steady Jordan  |  41  |  Decent enough Track Points topped up by an Ejector bonus

    You can see the full scores for this race on the data page.


    🔢 Smackhead19 topped the Track Points down under, with Alpine's late-race disaster helping them to a score of 46

    🔢 Pierre Ghastly and Play to Win (Ultimate Champions) each earned 45 Track Points, the latter in the most unlikely position of Leclerc now being their highest-scoring driver

    🔢 Scoring 40 Track Points is Oh no, the first time they have escaped the Podium of Shame

    🔢 Then we have a tonne of teams on 30 Track Points, so let's name them all: Revolting Cockpits, Steady Jordan, Teds Shorts, VroomDoom, VroomierDoomier and What Verstappened

    See the full Track Points on the data page


    At each race, the bottom three Track Pointing teams will be forced into an Ejector Seat at the next race in the season. Here are those teams and the changes we're forcing them to make. Teams on this list can still Eject again before the next race.

    In this race, eight (!) teams scored the third-lowest Track Points, equal on 20. We're Ejecting them all.

    😳 Mancunian Badboy Racing  |  Ejected: Guanyu Zhou [E]  |  Replacement: Lance Stroll [D]

    😳 🍩🦓 (Donut Zebra)  |  Ejected: Kevin Hulkenberg [C]  |  Replacement: Lance Stroll [D]

    😳 Barge Bored |  Ejected: Kevin Magnussen [C]  |  Replacement: Esteban Ocon [G]
    😳 Dodgy Bob's Repair Shop |  Ejected: Guanyu Zhou [E]  |  Replacement: Charles Leclerc [I]
    😳 Hot Hot Hovercraft |  Ejected: Lance Stroll [D]  |  Replacement: Esteban Ocon [G]
    😳 Sainz-Tropez |  Ejected: Yuki Tsunoda [B]  |  Replacement: Nyck De Vries [B]
    😳 Spoiler Alert |  Ejected: Nico Hulkenberg [C]  |  Replacement: Nyck De Vries [B]
    😳 Strolling the Ranks |  Ejected: Nico Hulkenberg [C]  |  Replacement: Lance Stroll [D]
    😳 Tardi Minardi  |  Ejected: Guanyu Zhou [E]  |  Replacement: Charles Leclerc [I]
    😳 The Porpoise Driven Life  |  Ejected: Guanyu Zhou [E]  |  Replacement: Lance Stroll [D]

    Team pages will be updated soon.


    💺  Highest-scoring new team members: Ocon, Williams |  23 bonus points to Play to Win (Ultimate Champions)  |  22 bonus points to Steady Jordan  |  13 bonus points to Revolting Cockpits 13

    💺  Bonus points missed last time: 17 bonus points to Strolling the Ranks |  8 bonus points to 🍩🦓  |  This race's bonuses are based on adjusted standings 

    💺  Other Ejected teams for this race were: Hot Hot Hovercraft, Mancunian Badboy Racing, Oh no, Strolling the Ranks, Teds Shorts, The Spanish translation of Mancunian Badboy Racing, What Verstappened, 🍩🦓 😖🛴


    A great race to Boost because of the huge number of Track Points earned by drivers and constructors

    🔴 Top Booster: Pierre Ghastly  |  Helped no end by the Alpine cars crashing into each other

    🔴 Worst Booster: Mancunian Badboy Racing  |  Another terrible double-boost

    🔴 All five Boosted teams can be seen on     


    Grid Forecast  |  Perfect = Bottas (last on grid), Pere (pitlane start)  |  Close = Sargeant, Zhou

    Start Forecast  |  Perfect = Leclerc (lost all places), Ocon (lost four places)  |  Close = Alonso, Stroll, Verstappen 

    Race Forecast  |  Perfect = Bottas (last in race), Sainz (last after penalty)  |  Close = Tsunoda, Zhou

    🔮 Perfect guess: What Verstappened, 🍩🦓 (best Forecasters of the race)

    🔮 Close guess: Barge Bored, Tardi Minardi

    🔮 Wrong guess: everyone else


    🎲 F I Eh?  |  Ongoing  |  Being played by seven teams

    🎲 Oscar the Slouch  |  Failed: famously got points at his home grand prix  |  Seven teams lose their stake

    🎲 Parts Penalty Peril  |  Failed: no-one a penalty  |  Four teams lose their stake

    🎲 Zero Hero [NEW]  |  Failed: Tsunoda just about squeezed that 10th place!  |  Ten teams lose their stake


    Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in Australia.

    Here is the complete Losers team data for Australia.

    And here's how it's affected the standings.

    Access your personal team page here.


    Throughout April: More Pitlane Punts for you to play
    April 30th: Azerbaijan Grand Prix, team actions close at noon UK time
    May 7th: Miami Grand Prix

    Eject your team members  |  Multiply with a Boost Button  |  Gamble with a Pitlane Punt  |  Predict with a Fast Forecast