McLaren rookie Oscar Piastri had a rotten debut in Bahrain, running in 16th then becoming the first retiree of the 2023 season.
Will he keep up this incredible pace? Bet that his poor season will continue. Read on to play this Punt.
Tuesday, 14 March 2023
Pitlane Punt: Parts Penalty Peril
If F1 constructors use too many power unit or gearbox components, they face a grid penalty. An engine failure for Ferrari's Charles Leclerc has left him on the brink of such a penalty.
Everyone loves a penalty shoot-out, right? Bet on a parts-related grid penalty happening at the next race. Read on to play this Punt.
Wednesday, 8 March 2023
Standings after the 2023 Bahrain grand prix
Here are the latest standings following the 2023 Bahrain grand prix.
Barge Bored boosted well in Bahrain and take a strong early lead of the championship. Last year, their teams Alfa Daley and Double Daley finished 25th and 20th in the standings, so this makes a change. The highest-placed brand new player is Teds Shorts in 10th: not a bad start with plenty of races to go.
Newbie Oscar Piastri starts the season as the worst driver in F1, while McLaren kick off the season with a seemingly unassailable Losers lead in the constructors' listings. Fancy adopting a high-scoring driver or constructor for your team? Use an Ejector Seat now.
Losers team data in full: Bahrain grand prix 2023
Here is the complete Losers team data page for the 2023 Bahrain grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bonuses.
For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page. To see what Track Points we gave drivers and constructors, see the Track Points page.
Losers team commentary: Bahrain grand prix 2023
BIGGEST LOSERS IN BAHRAIN
1st | Barge Bored | 76 | A well-timed Boost so early in the season
2nd | Tardi Minardi | 42 | A decent haul of Track Points plus a close Fast Forecast
3rd | Pierre Ghastly | 41 | Biggest Track Pointer but didn't Boost
4th | Hot Hot Hovercraft | 39 | Strong Track Points result
5th | Mancunian Badboy Racing | 39 | Again, did well with Track Points
You can see the full scores for this race on the data page.
Track Points for drivers and constructors: Bahrain grand prix 2023
Oscar Piastri got the 2023 F1 Losers League off to a roaring start on Sunday when he ended his F1 debut after just 14 laps. His electrics conked out, probably possessed by the spirit of fellow Aussie struggler Daniel Ricciardo. In fact, both McLarens had a stinker, with Lando Norris pitting 92,000 times.
The papaya gang had a very visible meltdown, scoring three-times more Track Points than any other constructor. This helped remove attention from the silliest loser of the race. Esteban Ocon piled penalty upon penalty for his Alpine team, and then got a penalty for it. He was in his own penalty shoot-out, kicking the ball in his own face over and over again.
Before we get into the Track Points for this race, hat doff to last year's Losers champion Vladimir Mazepin. Instead of competing, VladMaz will join the dark side in 2023, working behind the scenes to help the League come up with devious Pitlane Punts and other schemes to keep teams on their toes.
Wednesday, 1 March 2023
Enter the 2023 F1 Losers League
You have until lights-out at the first grand prix of the year, which is in Bahrain on March 5th, to enter the 2023 F1 Losers League.
Why should you enter this upside-down fantasy league? There's no reason why you should. There are far better ways to spend your time, such as crochet, beekeeping or naked ice hcokey.
However, if you want to enjoy this year's F1 season in a slightly skewed way, the F1 Losers League is for you. The League celebrates the backmarkers and blunderers of Formula One, not its front-runners and superstars. Get points for poor car performance, and build on those points as failures and follies beset this year's drivers.
In the Losers League, you earn Track Points. This erratic scoring system is explained here in full, but essentially you get the most points for cars finishing outside the top ten or retiring. You should pick three drivers and one constructor for your Losers Team that you think will earn most Track Points.
Your team is not fixed! You can change your team using Ejector Seats. This year, you get one per race. If a team member isn't pulling in the points, eject them into the stratosphere and pick a worse replacement. Yes, worse! This is a Loser's League after all.
That's the core of the League. In addition to this, there are Boost Buttons, Fast Forecasts and ever-changing Pitlane Punts. If you're brand new to the League, deal with these later. Just get your entry in.
We strongly encourage entrants to enter TWO teams. You don't have to, but it's quite nice to have a back-up if one of your teams seems permanently dead in the water.
Go on. Enter now. Don't miss the deadline. And do tell your friends - you can tag us on social media (accounts listed on our contact page).
Happy losing!
Wednesday, 23 November 2022
F1 Losers League champion 2022
Here are the final standings for the 2022 Losers League, following the Abu Dhabi grand prix.
Vladimir Mazepin are the 2022 champions, in the end by quite some margin. Their persistent punting paid off, and they have double delight with their sister team Nikita Putin claiming 3rd place in the championship. Under the name of LockedDownLosers, they claimed only a podium in last year's contest, so this will be vindication.
Strolling the ranks battled brilliantly, and had claimed top spot in the standings. They ended up as season runners-up, with their sister team What Verstappened in 4th. Last year's champions HAASN'T A CHANCE competed as Scrapyard 17 and Work Shop Boys, with the former only able to grab 5th this season.
Tip of the hat to パンダポップ and Team Name, who had led the League earlier in the season but ended things in 7th and 14th respectively. And to Spoiler Alert and Tardi Minardi who had colossal last-minute surges into the top ten - if only the season was longer.
Nicholas Latifi was our losing driver of the year, while Haas claim top losing constructor by one point from Williams. Thank you to all the calamitous cars that gave us so many Track Points in 2022.
Losers team commentary: Abu Dhabi grand prix 2022
BIGGEST LOSERS IN ABU DHABI
1st | VroomerDoomer | 165
2nd | Alpine Fresh | 152
3rd | Group Team Name | 148
4th | What Verstappened | 142
5th | Vladimir Mazepin | 136
6th | Tardi Minardi | 127
This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Abu Dhabi grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.
Losers team data: Abu Dhabi grand prix 2022
Here is the complete Losers team data page for the Abu Dhabi grand prix. It features all the Losers team scores at this race, including Track Points and points from Boosts, Forecasts, Punts and Ejector bribes.
For the commentary page featuring just the Losers team highlights, see the commentary page.
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