DRIVER POINTS IN MONACO
Raikkonen, Ricciardo, Alonso, Russell, Latifi, Tsunoda, Mazepin and Schumacher scoop up 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 points respectively for their finishing positions outside the top ten at the Monaco grand prix. Leclerc scored a DNS (Did Not Start) and Bottas racked up a DNF (Did Not Finish), so they both get 10 points for a retirement.
Time for the Earliest Exit and Backwards Bonus points. Here's where things get unusual. Bottas was the first retirement of the race, but it seems unfair to ignore Leclerc's failure to make the starting grid. Therefore, they both get the 5-point Earliest Exit bonus. And if that wasn't odd enough, nobody gets the Backwards Bonus. Not a single car lost places in the race: they either finished in the same position they started the race, or they gained places from retirements.
We're awarding three Beige Flags for drivers in Monaco. Leclerc, obviously, because of the qualifying crash that broke his car, forcing him to sit out the race despite being in poll position. It was his home grand prix and this was the equivalent of getting locked out of his house. 10 points to him. Schumacher also gets 10 points for a practice session prang that ruled him out of qualifying entirely.
The final driver Beige Flag is for something much more dramatic. A couple of weeks ago, a naughty criminal tried to steal a Jeep Wrangler in the Western Mexico city of Guadalajara. A gunfight ensured and a bodyguard got shot. The bodyguard? Part of the Perez family security. The bodyguard is doing okay, but Perez is not – his family drama earns him a 10-point Beige Flag.
Oh and Verstappen gets minus-25 for winning the race. Yuck. WIN. Such a small word that weighs so heavily on the Losers League's mind.
In summary: Leclerc 25 | Schumacher 18 | Bottas 15 | Perez 10 | Mazepin 7 | Tsunoda 6 | Latifi 5 | Russell 4 | Alonso 3 | Ricciardo 2 | Raikkonen 1 | Verstappen -25
CONSTRUCTOR POINTS IN MONACO
Alfa Romeo, McLaren, Alpine, Alpha Tauri, Williams and Haas score, respectively, 1, 2, 3, 6, 9 and 15 for their cars finishing outside the top ten. Ferrari and Mercedes get 10 points each for a non-start and a non-finish, along with 5 points apiece for the Earliest Exit: see our comments above for the reasoning on this.
We're awarding two Beige Flags for constructors in Monaco, and... drum roll... they both go to Red Bull. Footage from the Spanish grand prix showed Red Bull using a fancy flexible rear wing. This caused a technical scandal that could end up with F1 rule changes and inevitable legal challenges. It's a potential mess. 10 points to Red Bull.
Speaking of potential messes, turns out Red Bull supremo Christian Horner has a lucky loo. He told a podcast: "I have a lucky toilet at every circuit I go to and I have to make sure I visit that toilet before the start of every race." Ridiculous. Instant Beige Flag.
That extra 10 points means Red Bull totted up 20 points-worth of Beige Flags in Monaco. However, this is instantly neutralised by the minus-25 points they get for winning the race.
We hope he washes his hands.
In summary: Haas 15 | Ferrari 15 | Mercedes 15 | Williams 9 | AlphaTauri 6 | Alpine 3 | McLaren 2 | Alfa Romeo 1 | Red Bull -5
We have now unlocked every team's first Ejector Seat. which is a great chance to replace a driver that's not losing enough for you. Next race is the Azerbaijan grand prix, the second default DRS race of the season, with France and Styria following later in June. Oh and do gamble on our new Pitlane Punts – our latest gambling opportunities involve cute critters and George Russell. And yes, it's difficult to tell the difference.