How did your team do in the first race of the season? (Have a look here.) Are you licking a celebratory ice cream, or just licking your wounds? Did you pop the champagne, or pop all your hopes and dreams?
Here are some lovely tables with (a) the F1 Losers League standings, which we're calling the loserboard, (b) the driver standings so you can see who's rubbish, and (c) the constructor standings. Read on.
The F1 season is back, and already our Losers Teams are feeling the full force of failure. As one entrant put it on Twitter, "I'm appalled at myself for being so pleased to see Mazepin out on his first lap!"
If you want to see all the points awarded to drivers and constructors, see Bahrain's Race Points here. How has this panned out for the Losers Teams? Let's look at who failed brilliantly – and who didn't fail enough. Read on.
Haas rookie Nikita Mazepin described his opening lap crash at the Bahrain grand prix as one of the worst days of his life.
He is wrong, because Mazepin topped the Drivers Losers Points in Bahrain. In the eyes of the F1 Losers League, that makes it one of the best days ever, like remembering you had a Twix you hadn't eaten, or finding candy floss in a hedge.
His team mate Mick Schumacher pootled into last place which added to Haas's Loser Points, but they weren't the worst constructor. That accolade goes to Alpine whose food-based mishap propelled them to extraordinary levels of loserdom.
Let's dig a little more. Read on.
The 2021 F1 Losers League is on the starting grid and will shortly be trundling its way through 23 races of underdog action.
Entries for the League close at 3pm GMT on 27 March 2021, at the start of the first qualifying session for the Bahrain grand prix. At that point, team choices are locked, and Losers Teams are bound by the rules of the Losers League.
"But Fat Roland, CEO of the F1 Losers League, we don't want to obey your rules: you suck," I hear you protest. Don't make me come over there. I have a wheel gun, a hose clamp and eighteen gallons of Swarfega, and I'm not afraid to use them.
After the Bahrain race has run its course, the League will get its calculator out and work out the results based on our scoring system. We'll usually update the site on the Wednesday following a grand prix, or earlier if we're feeling frisky. That update will comprise:
What happens after that? Teams might want to shuffle their DRS-allocated races. There's the Italian grand prix on April 18th. And on April 21st, we'll publish the season's first Pitlane Punts in which you can irresponsibly gamble the meagre points you've already earned.
A huge thank you, by the way, for those who have entered so far, and for those that have helped promote the league. We'll probably end up with about 20 teams, which I'll be really pleased with. This is not a big massive fantasy league: it's a home-grown affair created by someone who doesn't even drive, and if he did drive, it would be like Belgium 1998.
Don't forget that deadline. 3pm GMT sharp. Don't make me use the hose clamp.
Yours,
Fat Roland
CEO: F1 Losers League
DRS stands for Double Race Scores, and the League is happy to announce this function is now available for you to use.
DRS doubles a team's Losers Points at a race. Each Losers Team gets nine DRS to play with throughout the season. These are pre-set to trigger at nine races by default (which you can see in the season calendar). Those default races are:
May 2: Portuguese grand prix
June 6: Azerbaijan grand prix
July 4: Austrian grand prix
August 29: Belgian grand prix
September 26: Russian grand prix
October 24: United States grand prix
November 21: Australian grand prix
December 5: Saudi Arabian grand prix
December 12: Abu Dhabi grand prix
Wow! Look at all those extra points pouring down on you like hail, bird poop or acid rain. Soak yourself in all those extra points.
However, you don't have to stick to these defaults. You can move a default DRS to any other race in the season. You can do this at any point in the season, as often as you want.
You can even stack up to three DRS in a single race, which means you could earn up to quadruple Losers Points in just one race.
You only get nine DRS to use, and once one has been used, it cannot be used again. And if you're wanting to apply it to a forthcoming race, get your change in before qualifying starts.
Move your DRS by using the form below, or go to the Repair Shop page. Check the calendar, and learn more about DRS here.
The 2021 F1 Losers League is open for entries – and the deadline is approaching fast.
The entry deadline is 27 March, the start of qualifying at the Bahrain grand prix. This is a Losers League, so you'll want to pick the worst possible team: think retirements, red flags, tardiness and trouble-makers.
"Oh heck, I'd better get on with it," we hear you say. Too right. Here's what you need to do.