Wednesday, 27 April 2022

Losers team commentary: Emilia Romagna grand prix 2022

Toto Wolff ranting inanely to a bored Lewis Hamilton about how his takeaway of king prawns was left on his doorstep in the rain

BIGGEST LOSERS IN IMOLA

  • Your Answer attacked this race like Lorraine Kelly fighting a basketful of puppies. It was brutal. They changed almost every team member with Ejector Seats then launched all five of their season's Boost Buttons. The result? A just-above-average result, multiplied to 174 points and 1st place.
  • Despite Tsunoda scoring zilch for them, My heart will Grosjean claimed 2nd place and 102 points. They scooped the Boost bonus after a top Track Points performance, and played two Boost Buttons to boot. A bonzer follow-up to their excellent Australia result.
  • Also playing two Boosts were The Blue Flag Boys, whose 81 points gives them 3rd place in Imola. Their two Boost Buttons flatters a slightly mediocre Track Points performance hindered by a zero-scoring Stroll and Tsunoda.
  • In 4th place with 66 points is Pierre Ghastly. Good Track Points, good Ejector Seating, good Pitlane Punting, good boy *pats on head*.
  • Mancunian Badboy Racing and Tardi Minardi find themselves with 56 points each and joint 5th place in Imola. Both of them did a fairly average Boost, enough to see them in these top scores.
This is the commentary page for the Emilia Romagna grand prix, featuring highlights of the Losers team action. For this race's full Losers team data featuring everyone's scores, see the data page.

Carry on reading this commentary.


TOP TRACK POINTS IN 
IMOLA

Your drivers and constructor earn Track Points for your team, which can then be added to with Boosts, Punts and Forecasts, and improved with Ejector Seats. Here are the Losers teams that earned the most Track Points in this race.

  • We saw another stonking performance from Sainz-Tropez, whose team choices all earned double figures, cumulating in 49 Track Points. They've got the core of their team right: it's a lack of follow-up team actions that sees Tropez languishing way down the League standings.
  • With an almost identical team to Sainz-Tropez, Pierre Ghastly clocked up 43 Track Points. Zhou's really paying off so far this year.
  • Alpine Fresh had their highest Track Points tally of the year. Again, a similar team make-up to the above teams. 42 Track Points is theirs.
  • Only their newly adopted Pierre Gasly let Nikita Putin down, but still, their 38 Track Points is not to be sniffed at, or, indeed, sniffed.
  • And finally, three Losers teams scooped 34 points apiece. 34, of course, is the atomic number of selenium, its name coming from the Greek word for 'moon'. This is probably why so many teams wanted to score 34, namely My heart will Grosjean, VroomerDoomer and Work Shop Boys.

This commentary page shows just the Losers team highlights for the Emilia Romagna grand prix. For the full Losers scores, see the data page.


PODIUM OF SHAME

At every race, we pay special attention to the Losers teams that scored the fewest Track Points. These teams shall be vilified, villainised, victimised and vituperated, then vanquished out of the village with, erm, vegetables. They will also be made to play automatic team actions against their will at the League's discretion.
  • Group Team Name's 21 Track Points was the worst performance since the UK took on Eurovision. They will be made to play an automatic Fast Forecast. That'll teach 'em.
  • Horrible, horrible, horrible was Hot Hot Hovercraft's 20 Track Points. They will be forced into a Pitlane Punt of the League's choosing. Insert evil laughter here.
  • Oh no! Two Losers teams ended up in last place. That means two automatic Ejector Seats. Scoring 19 Track points apiece, Scrapyard 17 and What Verstappened will be forced into an automatic team change. Absolute outrage.
Teams featured in this Podium of Shame will have any resulting points losses waived. We will be in touch with more detail on your automatic team actions.


EJECTOR SEATS IN 
IMOLA

We had a record 19 Ejector Seat changes across 13 Losers teams in Imola. The following teams get 5-point Ejector bribes because their Track Points in Imola were an improvement from the previous race in Australia. A short-term metric, but hey! Points!
  • Alfa Daley had an automatic Eject and were made to take on Latifi.
  • Their sister team Double Daley employed Magnussen.
  • Nikita Putin got Gasly onto their team.
  • Pierre Ghastly made big changes, opting for Schumacher and Aston Martin.
  • Work Shop Boys said 'ello to Alonso.
  • Your Answer changed almost their entire team, bringing in Stroll, Ocon and Williams.
The following teams scored fewer points in this race, so don't get the Ejector bribe. They can take comfort from the fact that it's a marathon, not a sprint. Unless there's a sprint, in which case it's a sprint.
  • Group Team Name brought Aston Martin into their team.
  • Henry's Motors decided to take on Vettel.
  • パンダポップ opted for McLaren, with mixed results in Imola. 
  • Mancunian Badboy Racing 'did a Pierre Ghastly' and added Schumacher and Aston Martin to their team.
  • Scrapyard 17 employed Tsunoda and Schumacher.
  • Strolling the ranks said ahoy to Alonso.
  • Vladimir Mazepin took on Tsuonda.
The most dumped driver out of that list was Zhou. Want to score more Track Points? Ejecting is where's it's at – we recommend Losers teams do this regularly. Use an Ejector Seat now.

BOOST BUTTONS IN IMOLA

Eight Losers teams ran Boost Buttons for this race, most of them carry-overs from Australia. Let's see how these boosty belters behaved.
  • My heart will Grosjean scored a healthy 34 Track Points, trebled because they ran two Boost Buttons. They also earn a 5-point Boost bribe. Your Answer were just above average too, their 31 Track Points increasing to a ridiculous 155 points because, like their sister team Team Name a few races ago, they pressed all of their season's Boost Buttons at once. Chaos!
  • The following teams had a middling Track Points performance, as average as a slightly overcooked flan, and not really losing or gaining much from Boosting. Mancunian Badboy Racing and Tardi Minardi each earned an extra 28 points, while The Blue Flag Boys' 27 Track Points was multiplied with two Boost Buttons.
  • At the lower end of the scale? Henry's Motors made the wrong call with their new Boost, inflating a below-average 25 Track Points. Let's hope Miami turns out better. And the less said about Hot Hot Hovercraft (20 Track Points) and Scrapyard 17 (19 Track Points) the better.
If your team goes half-a-dozen races without any Boost Button activity, we'll automatically press one of your Buttons. For most of you, this will happen in three races' time. Get ahead of the game: Boost for the next race now.


FAST FORECASTS IN 
IMOLA
    A reminder: it's 20 points for an exactly correct Fast Forecast, 5 points if it's almost correct, and minus-5 if it's wrong.
    • Esteban Ocon just held off Gasly in the sprint to line-up 16th on Sunday's grid. No-one got this correct, although Scrapyard 17 were almost correct with Albon. Camber Gamblers, Nikita Putin, Vladimir Mazepin and Work Shop Boys got this wrong.
    • You should have picked Ricciardo for the Opening Lap Forecast, thanks to his scrape with Sainz. Team Name were exactly correct, so more power to their elbow and other body parts. Hardly any other drivers lost places on the first lap (just Leclerc and Schumacher), so in the wrong pile go パンダポップ, My heart will Grosjean, Scrapyard 17 and Work Shop Boys, plus Tardi Minardi whose Forecast was automatic so costs them zero.
    • Proving himself to be Williams's 2022 Russell, Alex Albon finished the race in 11th, making him the correct choice for the Race Result Forecast. Camber Gamblers almost got it right with Gasly, while Double Daley and Scrapyard 17 guessed Stroll so earn themselves an almost-correct too. The following teams were horribly wrong: Henry's Motors, パンダポップ again, Nikita Putin again, Panda Pops, Team Name, Vladimir Mazepin again, Work Shop Boys and Your Answer, with an automatic Forecast for Team Name bringing in the rear.
    A clarification about the Grid Position Forecast. Not surprisingly, the sprint format confused things for the Losers teams – and for us. In Imola, the deadline for the Grid Position Forecast was Friday's qualifying, and the prediction was for Sunday's grid line-up. This wasn't good enough. For the next sprint weekend, we'll make the deadline the start of Saturday's Sprint session.

    Is your fickle finger of fate in fine fettle? Make a Fast Forecast prediction for the next race now.


    PITLANE PUNTS IN IMOLA
      • Carlos Sainz skittled off the circuit almost immediately in this race, earning him consecutive Earliest Exit Track Points. Instant success for the Top of the Crop Stop Punt, giving points to Nikita Putin, Pierre Ghastlyパンダポップ, Strolling the ranks, Team Name and Vladimir Mazepin. You all went with the maximum stake too. Yay!
      • A trailing Ricciardo ruined the Williams You Are Really Nothing Punt, pushing Latifi into third from last. The punt was hobbled by the honey badger. This meant stake losses for Hot Hot Hovercraft, Nikita Putin, Panda Pops, Team Name, Vladimir Mazepin, What Verstappened and Your Answer. You all went with the maximum stake too. Aargh!
      • Nicholas Latifi kept it together, so パンダポップ and Strolling the ranks lose the Nicholas Nudge Punt.
      • A resurgent Vettel sailed through Friday's qualifying. This meant a Seb Schlep Punt loss for Work Shop Boys and Double Daley, with the latter losing nothing because it was an automatic Pitlane Punt.
      • We still have a number of teams with the Wildlife Wager in play. No pay-off yet, despite Imola being famous for having a pet cat. Oh and look out for the new Miami 5-0 Punt.
      • At this race, we've also taken an extra 6 points off Panda Pops and Your Answer. We forgot to take a stake for the Top of the Crop Stop Punt in Saudi Arabia. Sorry, teams. Easier to make this small adjustment now than to go back and re-engineer the points.
      We'll keep releasing a new punts in Formula One's "off" weeks, at least until the summer break when we'll shuffle things around. 78 points were won by gambling teams in this race, and 29 stake points lost. Always a net gain. See the full list of playable Pitlane Punts.


      MORE POINTS

      Here are the driver and constructor Track Points in Imola.

      Here is the complete Losers team data for Imola.

      And here's how it's affected the Standings.

      Access your personal team page here.


      WHAT'S NEXT?

      It's Miami next on May 8th, a brand new circuit in which anything could happen. See the season calendar. We have a new Pitlane Punt especially for this grand prix: play the Miami 5-0 Punt now. We'll have another new Pitlane Punt in a few days: see our Pitlane Punt page for updates or keep an eye on our Twitter feed^.

      Announcement time! On Mayday, which keen calendar followers will know is May 1st, we will have a Flash Fast Forecast Freebie. Any Fast Forecasts predicted on this date will have any losses waived – that means zero points lost if you get it wrong! Applies to UK time only on May 1st. Get those predictions scribbled on the back of a napkin now.

      The Raceday Special Track Points element has changed. Instead of giving 5 points to the car last on the grid, these 5 points now go to the car with the slowest pit time of the race. We don't mean the DHL three-second-or-so fastest stop as shown on telly. We mean the entire pitlane usage, according to the FIA's official pit stop summary^. The Raceday Special just got trickier.