Austria was a bad-tempered grand prix, with FIA penalties raining down like the rain that was promised for the race but never happened. Charles Leclerc got so angry after his altercation with Sergio Perez, it turned his car red.
Not counting points from Beige Flags, Esteban Ocon was the biggest loser in Austria. His quick exit from the race had a massive effect on the points earned by Losers Teams in what was easily the most dramatic Losers' result of the season.
But let's start with the drivers and constructors. Who regrets returning to the Red Bull Ring? Read on.
DRIVER POINTS IN AUSTRIA
Russell, Tsunoda, Stroll, Giovinazzi, Räikkönen, Latifi, Schumacher and Mazepin pick up 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 and 9 points for their finishing places outside the top ten of the Austrian grand prix. Although he was classified 17th, Vettel didn't finish the race, so he gets 10 points for a DNF. As does Ocon, whose early retirement with smashed suspension gave some Losers Teams big points in the Ocon Odds-On Pitlane Punt.
Ocon's first lap failure easily qualifies him for the 5-point Earliest Exit bonus. Tsunoda gets his second 5-point Backwards Bonus in two races, this time dropping five places from qualy to the finish. And a very inconsiderate Verstappen keeps winning races, which is not very loser-y at all. A Race Win Penalty and minus-25 points to the Dutchman.
We're feeling generous, so we're dishing out four Beige Flags for drivers this week. Firstly, some unfinished business. Verstappen did a post-race burn-out at the end of the Styrian grand prix, cooking up doughnuts like Tim Horton. The burn-out led to fall-out, with race director Michael Masi saying it "wouldn't be tolerated again". Sorry, Max, it's a 10-point Beige Flag to you. Meanwhile, Vettel blocked Alonso in qualifying, ruining Alonso's grid position. This wouldn't be a big deal, but it was Vettel's birthday so he gets a special birthday present: a Beige Flag and 10 points. Arbitrary, us?
We feel the need to recognise such a penalised race by awarding Beige Flags. Rather than award for the most controversial or obvious penalties, we're being mathematical and opting for the biggest penalties of the race. For getting colossal 30-second penalties, it's a Flag and 10 points each to Latifi and Mazepin.
In summary: Vettel 20 | Mazepin 19 | Latifi 16 | Ocon 15 | Schumacher 8 | Tsunoda 7 | Raikkonen 5 | Giovinazzi 4 | Stroll 3 | Russell 1 | Verstappen -15
CONSTRUCTOR POINTS IN AUSTRIA
AlphaTauri, Aston Martin, Williams, Alfa Romeo and Haas respectively receive 2, 3, 7, 9 and 17 points for where they finished outside the top ten. Haas don't half keep rackin' them up. Alpine and Aston Martin each pick up 10 DNF points for having a car not finish the race.
Because Ocon tanked it in the opening corners of the race, Alpine get the Earliest Exit bonus, worth 5 points. For the second race in a row, AlphaTauri get 5 points for the Backwards Bonus. And, of course, Red Bull receive yet another minus-25 Race Penalty for winning the grand prix.
The two Beige Flags we're giving to constructors are unashamedly frivolous. Haas posted a cringe-worthy video^ of team boss Guenther Steiner giving a spinning top to Nikita Mazepin in an effort to clean up his reputation. A 10 point Beige Flag to them. And Aston Martin sponsor BWT want the team to ditch the green and go back to pink. Such colour controversy can only be complemented by a lovely Beige. 10 points to them.
In summary: Haas 27 | Aston Martin 23 | Alpine 15 | Alfa Romeo 9 | Williams 7 | AlphaTauri 7 | Red Bull -25
We'll launch a couple of new Pitlane Punts shortly. We next go racing at the British grand prix on July 18th, for which we have a dedicated Best of British Pitlane Punt. On August 1st, it's the Hungarian grand prix – you can see all this on the season calendar. Then on August 4th, everyone gets a third Ejector Seat, which gifts you even more flexibility in changing your team picks.